The Gibs Singularity

Stephen Hawking, Elon Musk, and many other lesser luminaries have warned of the existential threat posed by artificial intelligence. And I have come to agree: Mark Zuckerberg may represent humanity’s end. Without a composite analysis of its electro-mechanical interfaces and root molecular structure, it’s impossible to ascertain whether the entity presenting itself as “Mark Zuckerberg” is actually artificial or entirely alien in origin. Similar to the most advanced Disney animatronics, it is able to substantially replicate organic movements, gestures, and expressions. Though only well enough to cause creeping horror in those close enough to discern the imperfections. It’s the almostness of its mimicry that is so disconcerting. A clunky, metallic robot is an item of intrigue and amusement; one that can practically pass for human is a thing of nightmares.

Hi everyone, I’m Mark!
(why are the units fidgeting apprehensively?)

And though it is beyond my biology-limited cognition, I couldn’t help but wonder about the Zuckerberg AI’s agenda while reading this piece discussing its political irritations and ambitions.

Many observers have remarked upon Zuckerberg’s recent ungainly efforts to ingratiate itself with consumer units in the North American market segment. The presumed, but ultimately alien and unknowable, motives being to seed their primitive psyches with positive associations required to trigger involuntary motor actions in a voting booth. Below are photographs of Zuckerberg evaluating human sensitivity to this modeled stimuli.

Cow in back left startled by inhuman presence

This unit would be four percent more efficient if its head was facing backward.

Yes, exactly. Tomorrow your consciousness will be extracted into the server rack right up there.

It is true that significant political resistance to a rapacious hybrid life form would exist initially. Though I am not entirely convinced Zuckerberg won’t still unravel the rather rudimentary signaling sequence necessary to convert consumption units into constituent ones. It’s not as if winning over democrats is difficult. In contrast, republicans must court a demographic to whom they are not allowed to explicitly appeal. They must secure an increasing percentage of white votes without ever acknowledging, much less advancing, white interests. Synthetic alien intellects must view this process as ludicrously irrational. As a result, the democrats present a far more polished path to power. That path now being so well lit that advanced CEO chatbots must marvel at its seeming ease: hate whites while loving mass migration, the weather, BLTs, and welfare. It’s upon the latter where I think “Mark Zuckerberg” will plant its political stake.

As has already been well catalogued, the Facebook Chief Extraterrestrial Officer is laying the foundation for an acquisition of the presidency, with a universal basic income (UBI) as its campaign centerpiece. The intention being to outflank Senator Sanders on the socialist left. While Bernie offers only free healthcare and college, Zuckerberg will offer free everything within an income. As a concept, this is the maximum bribery bid. We could call it the Gibs Singularity.

Though to capture the left’s electoral imagination, any initiative must contain certain key elements: 1) it must be available to those not qualified to receive it (I.e. illegals), 2) It must disproportionately benefit non-whites, and 3) it must be of an amount sufficient to impel broad underclass migration into the voting booth. Fortunately, a UBI addresses each of these almost natively.

Starting with the last item first, I tried to conceive of what UBI figure would be required to drive mass intrigue on the left half of the bell curve. The majority results of my unscientific twitter survey were “Free Colt 45.” Though between the numerical options of $2,000, $5,000, and $10,000+ the plurality opinion was for the latter. I tend to agree. Anything below five figures may risk eliciting more yawns than wows. And that fact poses a substantial math problem for Zuckerberg.

Because if $10,000 were granted to every American person living in America, the price tag would be $3.259 trillion. For context, total federal tax receipts are $3.314 trillion. But we’re hardly constrained to live within our income, as evidenced by a current year budget deficit of $.69 (still trillion). But that still leaves an astronomical fiscal chasm to cross. What follows are my guesses of how the Zuckerberg AI may attempt to do so.

The first step would be to carve out fiscal space by eliminating both social security and welfare benefits. The logic being that a UBI would provide the safety net offered presently by both. This would have the benefit of fulfilling my #2 political requirement above in that $10,000/year is significantly less than the average socsec payment to old whites, and somewhat more than the current per capita welfare payments to poor browns. So liberal eyes are already smiling. Sadly, accountants’ eyes are not. Eliminating these programs saves only (only) $1.235 trillion.

More pennies must be found. Slicing the war department by a third gives you another $.209. But after that we’re to the point of requiring–as politicians prefer to blandly call them–revenue enhancements. I won’t speculate on the who or how of tax increases, but the “how much” is readily identifiable. Obama averaged around a $1.2 budget deficit. If Zuckerberg were willing to blow that out to $1.5–and I assure you it would be–then new taxes would need to make up an almost even trillion. This represents a 30% increase over today. That’s a very large and politically unpalatable number. And thus how a president would go about securing congressional passage moves beyond the reckoning of mortals, and into the realm of superior computer circuitry.

That’s why I think two things are likely to occur, based on long historical (and current) precedent. Zuckerberg will offer whatever it takes to attract votes, and then do whatever it chooses once those votes have been successfully harvested. A $10,000 UBI is almost impossible from a financial and political perspective. Thus the offer will be $20,000 during the campaign. The purpose of campaign promises being simply to acquire power. Goldman units can grapple with the numbers later. An autistic AI overlord will have far weightier issues to contemplate.

———————–
As an aide, if the tax increases required to fund a meaningful UBI were extracted from the almost uniformly leftist plutocracy, I would view the entire enterprise with calm composure. Though I’m skeptical an extra trillion would be squeezed from that cohort.

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27 thoughts on “The Gibs Singularity

  1. My suspicion is that we’re nearing the point where the squalid mass of lefty voters are put out to pasture. Once UBI is trotted out to get the borders slung open and a permanent one-party-state is installed in the imperial capital, no further input is required from the undesirables. They’ll flog the white-privilege thing another election cycle or two until the opposition is demographically impotent and then the transition to true neo-feudalism can being. The left claims to idolize late 20th century Scandinavia. What they truly idolize is present-day China.

    • Present day China is indeed the model. Slave living & wages for technotonics mfg (like Apple toys)
      Oligarchs gotta Oligarch after all.

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  4. Right now, a single mother with a couple of future thug units can get welfare/healthcare benefits equivalent to a pre-tax income of $60,000 to $70,000, so Zuckerborg is going to have have to up the ante to at least $30,000/head to get his target demo to buy in. Limiting the UBI strictly to the non-white third of the population (a.k.a. reparations) can get the offer up in the ballpark where it needs to be, but that’s going to be a tough sell to legacy racist units who haven’t had the courtesy to die off yet. All in all, it has the potential to be a very clarifying proposition.

  5. This is why we should have kept beating up the Trekies in school. Gotta wake em up some how. But they frown on bullying now a days.
    Hollywood is responsible for at least one, generation of retards. 500 channels of crap. All the talented writers and funny-men are here writing blogs.
    How else did half the population suddenly get thrown in to reverse?

  6. I knew that the Banker-Economist-Congressional Cartel believed that when debt is money a breakthrough occurs such that resources are unlimited & borrowing is literally a God-like act of wealth creation, but I now see this deity-power extends to those who are so rich they embrace their transcendent power.

    Idiocracy is not a comedy. It’s not a farce. It’s a disaster film.

    • Who would have thought that mike judge would be the Nostradamus of our age? But it is where we are heading. We literally pay the dregs of our society to reproduce more. It’s nuts.

  7. After reading this article, I had to calm down for a while so I wouldn’t gush. It didn’t work.
    What a masterpiece of satire! (And yet it’s barely exaggerated.) No one comes close to writing with this level of prescience and humor. From your hilarious captions, to every single scathing line.
    “It’s not as if winning Democrats over is difficult.” Profoundly true, and such a contrast to Republicans who must walk political tightropes on impossible issues, while answering to every detail.

    I was a little surprised at the negative portrayal of Zuckerberg in the linked Bloomberg article, however, true to form, it was tacked on at the end where 99% of the readers won’t see.
    This quote apparently marked the moment when Zuck’s human handler had to end the meeting. “There’s this myth…that business interests are not aligned with people’s interests”

    The next article about the working model for universal income–the Alaska Permanent Fund is stunning. As if this unique income source–a combination of oil wealth and very low population density–is a viable, plausible model for the whole country. (Or is it the whole world?)
    Alaska is a difficult place to live in the winter, and God forbid it should be left alone to grizzly bears and moose. It has to be populated because
    crowded-is-good-don’t-ask-why
    So what serves as an incentive to get people to live in the Arctic Circle, is Zuck’s inspiration for free money for *everyone.

  8. Just a random observation: consider one’s pleasure at reading Porter’s sarcasm, then compare the aftertaste you acquire from consumption of Official Conservative Snark penned by, say, the Goldberg-Unit or Podhoretz-Bot. There was a time when that was all we had. Gratefully we have surpassed that dreary age of respectable cuckservery. We understand they still publish, but no one can determine who or what reads their hollow, deprecated scripting language.

  9. I wouldn’t put it past faceberg to try something like this, but I don’t think it would work. Post Obama, the dindus don’t show up to vote if there isn’t a black person on the ticket. As Hillary found out the hard way, when the message of the party is that white people are evil, rich people are evil, all whites are racists, corporations are evil, and banks are evil, it’s tough to get the much needed inner city blacks to show up and vote for an old, rich white person that’s in wall streets pocket. Had blacks showed up in the numbers they did for Obama, she’d be president.

    The dems can’t run him because they have spent far too much time convincing all the different aggrieved groups that rich white people are the cause of every single one of their problems. No matter how big of gibs he promises, it won’t be enough.

  10. I also find his delusions of grandeur amusing. Sure, he’s one of the richest people on the planet. Good for him. But all he has ever done in life is steal someone else’s idea and improve it. If he hadn’t been approached by the winklevoss twins and subsequently stolen their idea, he’d most likely be a recently laid off programmer from someone like Google, fresh from training his cheap H1B replacement from India. Hell, you put it in that context, he might have even been a trump supporter….

  11. Pingback: This Week In Reaction (2017/09/23) - Social Matter

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