Panic! at the Well

Whether they walk on two legs or four, cattle tend to fear chaos more than the abattoir. But that’s the conclusion, let me start with the preface.

Can you help Farmer Joe and his son get a cow out of a well?

Come again?

That was the initial exchange between Mrs. Porter and me to a call for aid from the wife of a family friend. The next Q&A was a bit more pointed.

What the fuck do I know about extracting a goddamned cow from a well?

Just go help them.

And so sometime later I found myself in the unusual position of looking down at a highly perturbed juvenile bull securely plugged into the bottom of a narrow hole in the ground.

How in the hell?

Farmer Joe and his 20-something son offered no response aside from shrugs. They had been futilely laboring throughout the morning to liberate the animal, with absolutely no cooperation from the beast itself. My initial assessment of the task was curt: Boys, the only way that thing’s coming out of there is in patties.

Though they were more optimistic, and even had a plan. The general idea being for two men to rappel down the shaft and fasten ropes while a third hauled the entire production up by a tractor.

Now I don’t know how familiar readers are with the characteristics of intact bulls, but even sub-adults are enormously powerful and uncongenial creatures. Putting yourself in a tight and awkward space with a 1,000 pounds of infuriated hoof, horn, and muscle is a particularly efficient method for turning wives into widows.

But the farmers were committed, and so down they went. And frustrated they emerged. Again and again and again. Each time I would begin to pull them up, the bull’s muddy flailing would defeat the jury-rigged harness while making it too dangerous to manually adjust on the rise. By its own dumb fear of relief in unfamiliar form, our prisoner was sentencing itself to a miserable demise. The Vegas line grew increasingly short on my patty prediction.

Eventually Farmer Joe came to agree with my assessment. He was ready to simply tie a noose around its neck and haul out what would be a carcass by the time it reached the surface. But his son was certain a solution existed just over the horizon. He kept going down, adjusting, correcting–somehow escaping each attempt without shattered bones or perforated organs.

It all seemed a bit foolishly quixotic until I looked back during yet another pull to astonishingly see the bull actually coming up–filthy, exhausted, and crazed, but alive. Interestingly, it was only once its head had breached the surface that its own frantic efforts actually aided rather impeded its cause. That’s a relevant concept to remember.

As I reflected on the event later, I found myself immensely impressed with the farmer’s son. Impressed much by his engineering ingenuity, but more with his unwavering conviction that solutions can be found even when fully concealed behind a slab of brisket. A conviction hardy enough to survive even down in the dangerous thrashing muck.

I mentally contrasted him with the effete coastal antifas of his age who would surely sneer at such a social-justice insensitive occupation. As they each imagined their food originating with great spider-legged matrix machines plucking placid charolais from machine-manicured pastures and dropping them into agricultural processing chutes that terminate in neat stacks of cellophane at Whole Foods.

But more to the topic was understanding how often creatures will struggle to maintain even the most wretched stasis when the alternative is novel. I realized a lot about Germans that day.

And that realization aided my digestion of recent news that would otherwise be the logical equivalent of ipecac. It really can’t be overstated what a lavish treason the German people have suffered at the hands of Merkel. It’s not something any of them ever seem inclined to contemplate, but democratically-elected executives are nowhere granted the license to facilitate foreign invasion of their own countries.

A vast catalogue of conflict of interest regulations exist to ensure that every Western government executes its duties in the national rather than personal interests. Whether Merkel, and all the other surface-congealing scum, personally want a Germany of Africans is wholly irrelevant to her obligations to the Germany of Germans. If she couldn’t bring herself to act as their representative, she was morally bound to step down as chancellor and pursue her conscience honestly on the Open Society payroll. This isn’t blogger bullshit; it’s fundamental ethics. If you take your employer’s (German taxpayer) money, you agree to serve their interests. If you can not serve their interests, you resign. Honest people actually do this occasionally in the business world. But enough right-wing extremism.

Merkel, of course, chose to neither serve her employer’s interests nor to resign. What she chose instead was to toss her employer down a well by inviting millions of hostile foreigners into his ancient home. And since finding themselves in these dark, miserable confines, you might think the German people would rush toward offers of aid. But if you thought that, you know very little about the behavior of trapped animals.

This behavior is precisely what the Alternative for Germany party is learning right now. Because the lone viable party trying to pull their people out of the well is being politically gored by the very object of their rescue mission.

Germany’s far-right Alternative für Deutschland party fell to its lowest polling point in seven months, hinting that the Trump tidal wave is not one Germans are eager to ride.

A poll by the Institute Allsenbach and Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung asked whom respondents would vote for if elections were held Sunday. Just 8.5 percent said AfD, led by Frauke Petry — the first time since July the extreme right-wing party has slipped below the 10 percent threshold, and its worst poll numbers since Dec. 2015. Another poll, conducted by Forsa Institute and Stern magazine, had AfD at just 8 percent.

I can assure you, as indicated by subtle non-verbal cues–like trying to kill him, the young bull would not have voted for the farmer’s son either. In fact, I would speculate with supreme confidence that the Farmers’ Son party would poll even worse than AfD among cattle trapped in wells. But the following quote was the true bolt of insight.

Forsa chief Manfred Güllner suggested AfD’s poor performance was because of President Donald Trump’s “chaotic leadership,” which “is tending to cause alarm” among Germans. They are mostly throwing their support behind the current German chancellor, Angela Merkel, of the center-right CDU, and Martin Schulz, of the center-left SPD.

It’s not yet an abattoir, but Trump’s “chaotic” leadership is causing panic at the well. Germans see an American left wildly thrashing at a man trying to fasten ropes and have decided they want no part of his endeavor. The cold mud is quite peaceful, by comparison.

Of course it’s hardly preferable to actually standing in a field, but no one calls drowning cattle mean names. Well actually they do, but at least you can’t hear it as well below the surface. Unfortunately the stoic Mr. Schulz, who promises not a single rescue molestation, is trying to speak louder by offering to give millions of “refugees” the vote. Though I suppose this could be seen as simply a humane gesture bringing Germans closer to the dark’s serene release. At least that’s how his emerging electoral plurality seems to view it.

It’s all as predictable as it is exasperating. An utterly betrayed and intensely propagandized people thrashing against help so they may peacefully expire in a hole. Germans, you really don’t have to die like this. But it’s your choice to make. I’m just as happy to let a blond blustery farmer’s son haul me up a few feet.

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27 thoughts on “Panic! at the Well

  1. Your parable is astute and entertaining. It prompted a look at today’s BBC to analyze what information the bull might be receiving. The big headline was “Ten Attacks a Day on Germany Migrants.” Probably at the hands of other migrants, but that detail was left out. The conclusion, though, was provided: Right-wing extremism is the real threat to Germany, not the millions of Rape-Pray-Kill newcomers.

  2. If only 8 % of Germans want to vote AfD, just fucking let them die.

    These pussies need to be raped and murdered by refugees.
    People always get what they deserve. If you’re too much of a faggot to stand up for your own people, yeah I don’t care about you, even if you are pretty and blonde.

    “Muh need to save germany” is a meme that needs to die. The only thing Germans are good for, historically, is getting Europeans killed. Looks like they are working hard to stay in that game.

    Germans saying “Germany has always been a nation of immigrants!” makes me chuckle.

      • Meanwhile, 90% of blacks vote for gibemedats. We’re not that far behind those much maligned germans, realistically speaking. Sorry but 2/3 just doesn’t impress me given the current situation.

      • We’ve let in 279,000 Muslim refugees since 9/11. Lord knows how many H1b, visa overstayers, and other Muslim immigrants, but certainly in the 7 figures. Of course, importing millions of under-educated Mexicans, Ghanaians, Guatemalans and Jamaicans is just as lethal to our country in the long run as importing the entire Muslim Ummah. Voting for Trump is the most minor of passive steps in the right direction. I’d say our immune system has just about seen the cancer hit all major organs before even realizing there’s a problem.
        Our jobs and reputations and general good manners have prevented us from engaging in the kind of resistance it would take to really slow down or reverse the immigration suicide machine. Think how peaceful Croatia is now and the term “ethnic cleansing” loses some of its stigma. Outsourcing all the unpopular work to Trump and Bannon and Sessions may work, but none of them seem inclined to get us totally out of the well. They have only announced steps that are the equivalent of feeding us in the well so we die less quickly.

    • The good ol krauts may not be independent thinkers, but how many of us shitlords were? If it wasn’t for crimethink speakeasys like the one that our gracious host provides, how many of us would be full blown shitlibs? How many of us would still be “I’m not X but” before every limp wristed protest of our dispossession?

      It seems to me that a characteristic of the modern societies that we have built is that propaganda has replaced the timeless wisdom of elders. Given their engineering talents, is it any surprise that the krauts are also the best in mind engineering? Not like they’re hurting for help either.

      So to refer back to the parable, if we on the darkest corners of the internet are the cunning young man, do we let the golden calf waste away into death? Or do we tirelessly work and risk so that we could have a future, even if our own people resist temporarily?

      Another lesson here: don’t always listen to the old. They may mean well, but years of life have taken their toll, and sometimes you just need young blood and energy to save the day.

    • If only 8 % of Germans want to vote AfD, just fucking let them die.

      These pussies need to be raped and murdered by refugees.
      People always get what they deserve. If you’re too much of a faggot to stand up for your own people, yeah I don’t care about you, even if you are pretty and blonde.

      I’d say you are about as wrong as you could possibly be.

      • I’d say that rebuttal needs some support. Too bad it didn’t come with any. “jjbees” is wrong, because: you said so? Hmmm.

  3. Great story, Porter. In my opinion, Alex Linder is the only other story teller in your league. His rhetorical style begins to show itself at around the midpoint of this interview.

  4. Pingback: Panic! at the Well | Reaction Times

  5. > But more to the topic was understanding how often creatures will struggle to maintain even the most wretched stasis when the alternative is novel.

    Suitable for engraving into granite!

    Germany died in 1945; the rest of the premise is moot.

  6. European polls and news organizations are in the tank for the globalists. Anyone that believes German and French press is some how more honest, honorable and accurate than our media may want to take a step back and think about what you witnessed in the last two years.

    The European citizens have been and are being systematically suppressed, they are not represented by their governments and they know it. The EU is failing and will ultimately break up; a nightmare for the EU globalist elite. Merkel and Hollande will not win re-election in 2017.

    Marine Le Pen – eviscerates Angela Merkel & Francois Hollande

    • Thanks for sharing this courageous display. I agree that many Europeans are watching helplessly as their way of life is being discarded, just as we are in the US. Europe is often presented as a warning to the US. Ha! We’re already there, just in a different fashion with different demographics. We’ve been on the path of cultural destruction since the 60s.

  7. Yahoo Fake News cherry picks the polls it shows its dwindling readership, and lies about the reason for the AfD’s slippage.

    YFN lists 2 polls showing the AfD at 8% and 8.5% while ignoring 20 other polls released this month showing them between 9% and 13%. And while polling between 9% and 13% is nothing to write home about, YFN quoting only the 2 lowest polls — not the most recent mind you, just the lowest — proves beyond a doubt that they’re just another cog in the fake news machine.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opinion_polling_for_the_German_federal_election,_2017

    Since mid-January when Martin Schulz (former president of the European Parliament and the übercuck who once said “For me, the new Germany exists only in order to ensure the existence of the State of Israel and the Jewish people.”) became leader of the Social Democrats, ALL the other German parties have fallen in the polls, including the CDU/CSU, FDP, Greens and Left. That’s the real reason why the AfD has slipped in the polls, not because of the “alarm” caused by Trump’s “chaotic leadership” as alleged by YFN.

    Of course if Schulz is elected chancellor it will be yet another nail in the kraut koffin. But on the plus side it will signify the unequivocal rejection of the treasonous harridan Merkel. And no one, not even übercuck Schulz could betray the Fatherland to the extent of Merkel’s Million Muslim March treachery.

    Though YFN would have us believe that it’s all over for the AfD due to their association with Trumpism, they may very well hold the balance of power following the election. As is typical amongst the Eurotraitors, all the mainstream German parties have declared a cordon sanitaire around the AfD, promising to never, ever, ever form a coalition with them. But there is a way around their national suicide pact, and a precedent for it may be in place as early as next month.

    Even though Geert Wilders’ PVV party is leading in the polls for the March 15 election, all the other Dutch parties (read: anti-Dutch parties) have formed a similar cordon sanitaire around the PVV. But 2 elections ago, the PVV held the balance of power in the Dutch parliament, and though not officially in government, they were able to extract concessions from the ruling centre-right coalition on immigration and Islamization issues. If the PVV finish in first this time around, even without holding power they will be in an excellent position to demand significantly more.

    In the German election, scheduled for September 24, neither the leftist (SPD-Greens-Left) nor “rightist” (CDU/CSU-FDP) coalitions are likely to form a majority. And the current CDU/CSU-SPD grand coalition is not only unpopular with the public, but even with the politicians involved in it. So that leaves the AfD as kingmakers, with the price of their support being Merkel’s head on a platter.

    A likely scenario would be Horst Seehofer, leader of the more conservative Bavarian CSU party, ousting Merkel and becoming chancellor at the head of a CDU/CSU-FDP coalition government reliant on AfD support. If Wilders can hold the balance of power in the Netherlands, then why not Frauke Petry in Germany? Especially if the AfD can get their numbers back up into the 15%-20% range, which is only one Muslims Behaving Badly incident away.

    Yahoo Fake News wrote their premature obituary for the AfD betting that their Islamic pets would temporarily cease their typical robbing/raping/bombing/killing sprees. I’m betting otherwise.

  8. I often think about this when I hear some cuck politician promising to “ban the burqa” or “outlaw female genital mutilation”. I would say the exact opposite. Encourage the wearing of burqas and other alien practices of immigrants at every opportunity. If the people won’t vote for the party that stops the invasion of their country, they should have their noses rubbed in the consequences of their stupidity every day.

  9. In keeping with my reputation for uncanny ability to miss the point, may I remark that there is a foolproof, safe way to extract a bull from a hole. I had this problem once with a horse.

    The answer is to eliminate the hole. Fill it in. I believe there is a parable to this effect somewhere on the internet, involving a dumb farmer, who, faced with a trapped donkey, decides to write off the donkey and just bury it. As he throws dirt into the hole, the ass shakes it off and steps on it, eventually stepping out of the hole and biting the farmer on the, er, donkey. There were a few morals drawn from this, but I don’t recall what they were. Fortunately, in my case, getting bitten was not one of the conclusions.

    Is there an applicable lesson here for Germany? Damifican see it. But I vehemently disagree with writing the German people off as not worth saving. Yes, they’re in a sorry state now, but they are a reservoir of the finest DNA on the planet. We have to save them. Then, we can start the hangings.

  10. Another bull story.

    In the spring of 1972 I graduated from jump school in Ft. Benning, Georgia and began making my way by motorcycle to Ft. Bliss, Texas. It was a chopped Harley Davidson with straight pipes and yeah, I thought I was bad-assed. A paratrooper headed for ‘Nam.

    Somewhere between two towns in Texas I left the two lane blacktop on dirt road looking for a place to camp. I was surprised to roll up behind some ramshackle buildings and a pickup truck with three young cowboys sitting in the bed. When I shut the bike off one of them informed me that what I had just done was a good way to get whooped.

    He explained that I had just driven my noisy machine up behind a bull pen and spooked the bulls. He went on to inform me that in those parts men rode bulls, not motorsickles. Having been whooped before, I opted for the bull ride. I’m not sure I even knew, at that point, that I was on backside of a rodeo ground, but I soon found out. We went up a rickety outdoor staircase and came in through the back door of the announcer’s box and I could immediately see the calf roping going on down below. The cowboys told a lady I wanted to sign up for the bull riding. She took one look at me and asked where I was from. After learning that I was from Washington DC, she asked if I had ever ridden a bull before. I answered negatively, but volunteered that I had ridden a horse once or twice. She asked if I wanted a short term life insurance policy along with my entry and I declined.

    We went back down the stairs and one of the cowboys offered me the use of his “riggin”. It wasn’t too long before I was standing astride a chute and bull was driven down beneath me. As I lowered myself down on his back I had the feeling I was sitting astride the roof of a heavily breathing Volkswagen Bug. That son-of-a-bitch was huge. As some cowboys were down below routing the rigging, I could hear the announcer telling the crowd that I was nineteen year old from Washington DC who had never ridden a bull before but had ridden a horse once or twice. They seemed to think that was the funniest damned thing they had ever heard.

    The bull leapt straight sideways in one giant lunge and I listed to the right where I hung on well past the bell. I could hear the announcer advising me to get off the bull, but at that point I had slid well down his side and was getting a good look at his feet. I was afraid if I released my grip I would be trampled. Finally, I just fell off and was ok, or so I thought. Everyone seemed satisfied and I slept that night at one of the cowboys’ ranch. The next morning I could barely walk. My left groin hurt like hell. The cowboy told me I just “strained my milk” and that I’d be ok in a few days. He leaned my motorcycle up against a phone pole for me and I pulled myself up onto the seat. I never walked quite right after that day. When I was fifty years old, a surgeon up at University of Washington did an arthroscopic surgery on my left hip and cleaned out some mangled soft tissue. It works much better now.

    • Fascinating story. I wouldn’t think it’s possible to do that nowadays in America. At least you’d probably spend half the day signing disclaimers before you’d be let near a bull.

  11. Every country needs something to feel proud in. For example, Sweden likes to imagine they are a Moral Superpower. They might not be the most militarily formidable or economically dominant, but they care more than anyone.

    After WWII, the victors made certain this time Germany would never get off its knees again. For three generations, they have pounded in a message of national shame, with redemption possible only through death. For the German people, their highest calling is the erasure of their own exsistence. This is why the chielf rival to Merkel is a guy who wants refugees to be able to vote and who has said “For me, the new Germany exists only in order to ensure the existence of the State of Israel and the Jewish people.”

    I go to Europe a couple of times a year, and the media is even more monolithic and conformist in its narrative than it is here. For the average European, not displaying continuous outrage and dismay over Donald Trump is socially equivalent to walking around with your dick hanging out of your pants. It’s an effective way to discredit and demean any oppostion to the globalist agenda, by associating it with American gauchness and “racism”. It is also a sliver of redemption, a way of shifting the burden of sin, in that it’s no longer Farmer Hitler trying to pull them up out of the well, but his son Donald Trump.

  12. Really enjoyed the comments.

    Watership: what’s studiously unspoken is that every person in the world has the ability to avoid “anti-immigrant violence” by not being an immigrant. Particularly an immigrant that mooches off his hosts, votes against their interests, screams raysis, and counts his toes when one of his fellows kills or rapes the natives.

    DNP: I’d guess over half the population replacement program is premised simply on whites maintaining good manners.

    Anon Bro: Yes, experience counsels against foolish actions; and sometimes against achievable ones as well. One of my few sources of optimism is the realization that I can not see the full range of opportunity.

    Jeppo: No doubt the malign media will attempt to diminish and demoralize AfD supporters using the anti-Trump playbook. Though even if their support is double the polls, it’s still half what is warranted. AfD shouldn’t be a fulcrum between powerful factions; it should be a powerful faction. If the slashing, dashing, and driving Merkel Millions aren’t sufficient to motivate mass German dissent, then I wonder what would be.

    Jimmy: That’s a keeper of a story.

    Rev. Right: Well said.

  13. But more to the topic was understanding how often creatures will struggle to maintain even the most wretched stasis when the alternative is novel.

    That’s a brilliant observation.

  14. Instead of the Afd, they choose to support people who will continue to support the incessant bombing of these people, while importing the survivors of said bombings? It seems like it would be much cheaper and easier to both stop bombing them, and stop importing perma-dependents.

    Its nuts, watching these people. Making the leap to vote for trump (or what passes for trump in EU-land) might seem a little daunting at first, but their concern should be quickly assuaged by watching him. He hasn’t really done anything other than attempt to bring in less third worlders into the US and remove a tiny % of the ones already here, and tell people with penis’s that they must use the same bathroom as others who have penis’s. This agenda is hardly revolutionary.

  15. Frightening stuff, at least to me having been born in Germany. I can’t figure it out but the closest to the picture may be in Rev. Right’s comment. I enjoyed all the comments btw. How can anyone “save”
    the Germans if they do nothing to help themselves?

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