Alt-Right R Real Leftists

Being a smug conservative is much like being a smug Carthaginian. Both are able to watch all there once was being ground into dust, while smiling at their own virtue. The Third Punic Culture War may be an ongoing 50+ year rout, you may have a host of foreign infantry besieging your cities, and your leaders may have mastered no tactics aside from supercilious retreat, but I’m feeling pretty good about stopping anti-Roman hate speech.

Do you ever wonder why no one strives to uphold the Values of Carthage anymore? Do you think it has anything to do with the absence of Carthaginians? I’m sure their society did have values, and ones to which most hewed piously. Maybe their values were even subjectively superior to Roman values. Though it’s been hard to find many saying so since Carthage was razed to the ground and its last surviving citizens sold into slavery.

It would be interesting to know if shackled fathers watching their wives and daughters being led in chains to soldiers’ tents found solace in the righteousness of universalist morals. Or if, in contrast, they wished more attention had been placed on defending the Carthaginian people. I suppose all we can do is speculate.

Regardless, the exotic theory I will present to CPAC–when next invited to speak there–is that a set of specific values is actually endemic to a specific people. And absent those people, their values are found about as useful to others as bones baking in the sun.

But that’s not the position of the American Conservative Union’s Executive Director Dan Schneider addressing CPAC yesterday. In his remarks, he explained that the values of Carthage are under threat from the people who want to preserve Carthaginians. Even more counterintuitively was his advice that these pro-Carthaginians are the real Romans. Now that’s impressive subterfuge.

There is a sinister organization that is trying to worm its way in to our ranks. We must not be duped. We must not be deceived.

We have heard what Conservatism is. We have to make sure we know what Conservatism isn’t.

Just a few years ago this Hate-filled, left-wing fascist group hijacked the term ‘alt-right.’ They did it intentionally. Because they want to deceive the media and they want to deceive you all about what they stand for. So they can try to become normalized.

We must not allow them to be normalized. They are not part of us.

They stole the term (alt-right) specifically to confuse us. But we know who they are.

🐸 They are anti-semites.
🐸 They are racists.
🐸 They are sexists.
🐸 They hate the constitution.
🐸 They hate free markets.
🐸 They hate pluralism.
🐸 They hate everything we believe in. (Even horticulture!)

They are NOT an extension of Conservatism.

They are nothing but garden variety LEFT-WING FASCISTS.

Fascist is a synonym for ‘bad person’ as ‘bad person’ is a synonym for heretic. That is how the alt-right manages to be both left and right wing ‘fascists’ simultaneously.

The left wants the West in ruin and its daughters in infantry tents. The mainstream right wants a comfortable seat to watch the show. Thus it’s not difficult to understand why both factions feel intense enmity for those few manning the ramparts.

I don’t know the ultimate trajectory of this conflict. But watching the milquetoast Dan Schneider meekly try to rally the troops to their knees, our prospects for a prompt defeat are looking more dire all the time.

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37 thoughts on “Alt-Right R Real Leftists

  1. Question for Schneider, one that’s long been on my mind: Why don’t straight men who lisp do anything about that? I’m assuming he’s straight. It’s correctable. Dan, I’m quoting Porter here… you don’t have to lisp like this.
    Another question for Schneider: Other than for the lulz, does anybody give a shit about CPAC?

    • Lisps are easily correctable. I was born with one and as soon as I entered public school a speech therapist cured me. For which I thank God, as I have a first name synonymous with stereotypical gay entertainment characters, ending in ess. That would have been quite a burden.

      • It’s not “Burgess”, is it? Because Burgess Meredith was one hell of an actor, and a man’s man too – married 4 times, once to Paulette Godard.

  2. Who was the term “alt-right” hijacked from?

    I half expect to see a National Review issue in a few years explaining how NR founded the True, Original alt-right.

      • Paul Gottfried and Richard Spencer introduced the term Alt-Right at a Mencken Club conference.

        Alt-Right was a righteous term for about 20 minutes, after Gottfried invented it and before Spencer repeated it?

    • HaHa. It’s reminiscent of the hijacking of the Tea Party which started with a lovely Rick Santelli rant against socialism and government spending but turned into some version of gay bashers for no daylight between us and Israel and all the wars they want.

    • That’s what I wonder, too. I never even heard of the alt-right until about a year ago, and I’ve been reading conservative blogs and online magazines for 15 years at least. What were they in the years BT (Before Trump)?

  3. CPAC–where conservatives in the shadows finally get the spotlight, then proceed to give speeches that appear to have been scribbled on a napkin minutes before. And Sarah Palin dropped her napkin.
    It’s so true that the right just wants to watch the show. They aren’t quite inviting the New Celebrity Thug Moms to speak, but they aren’t opposed. Is anyone researching medical breakthroughs? Improving American infrastructure and security to entice all those tourists afraid of Europe? Nope. The only worthy platform is the: We Aren’t Racists Either! platform. Look who we just kicked out of CPAC–that law abiding guy with the bad views.

    • It would be interesting to tabulate all of the embarrassing characters and cumulative rap sheets that could have attended CPAC unmolested compared to Spencer’s law-abiding crimethink.

      Though to be fair to conservatives, democrats would have outright murdered him in the name of “justice.”

      • Yes, the bar is low enough to admit various war mongers including Senators who sneak off to Syria and meet with Al-Qaeda. Left to my own devices, I would consider that radical.

  4. Boy that Dan Schneider sure has my number. I’ve never been too fond of blacks, browns, yellows, hebes, muzzies, hindoos, phags, dykes, trannies or “pluralism.” But I really, REALLY fucking hate horticulture.

    WTF?

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  6. Carthage practiced widespread child sacrifice. Thus why Rome persisted in destroying them even though repeatedly defeated and even though the risk/reward was clearly not worth it. The Roman demos was willing to destroy itself in destroying their baby-burning would-be conquerors.
    Always remember that conservatives share the noble passion to pass a law saying it is bad to murder unborn children. Except perhaps in some cases. Absent such a law they are helpless but to support the status quo, because Constitution.

  7. Nothing to add except my opinion that this is an excellent blog.

    Oh… and it would be “a set of values is” not “are” :p

  8. I consider myself more of a libertarian than anything else(maybe a libertarian with alt-right sympathies? Thats a thing, right?) so I’ve been watching the slow decay of Conservatism, Inc(TM) for quite a while. They lost me in 2008. They have yet to ‘conserve’ one single thing, and the deeper you dig into a lot of these people and organizations, the more you find former Bush flunkies and their ilk, trying to capitalize on people’s frustration with….them. And people keep falling for it.

    The last time these people were in total control(during the Bush years), they did not accomplish one single good thing for this country, or for ‘conservatism’ unless you count pointless wars for the benefit of Israel and our weapons industry. All mainstream conservatism has managed to accomplish is the perhaps slightly slower growth of progressivism, in some areas. Hardly an effective rallying cry to your cause. Which makes me wonder, are they really trying to conserve anything, other than their influence and corresponding income streams? I think not. We aren’t going to conserve jack shit if we can’t even publicly acknowledge that maybe we would be better off if we imported slightly less sub 80 IQ foreigners from across the third world, or have something so simple as an effective border. Fuck these people. CPAC types are one of the primary reasons I ditched the GOP a while ago.

  9. The New Gujarat remarks on the alt-right at CPAC:

    Like CPAC,  the conservative movement faces a difficult choice. Many aspects of the alt-right, especially as articulated by outspoken figures like Spencer, are highly unpalatable to older right-wingers. Yet the alt-right clearly has momentum and is drawing fresh, youthful blood into the right. The current solution of accepting Bannon but rejecting Yiannopoulos and Spencer is a temporary compromise, one that is unlikely to last. Soon conservatism will have to face its moment of truth: Do they accept the alt-right as the future of American conservatism?

    Wrong question. Conservatism is expiring like all utterly ineffectual movements. The real question is whether an ascendant new-right ultimately comes to accept conservatives.

    • Exactly, Conservatism needs the Alt-right, the Alt-right doesn’t need conservatism. The election of Trump showed how ineffectual mainstream conservatism actually is. They’re on a banana peel IMO.

  10. Well, when money is tight, outsourcing cannibalism can become a family affair.
    Probably some would take that personally. Business.

  11. The assertion that the alt right is comprised of left wing fascists is such bullshit, only a gay Christian could contort himself into saying it. The easiest thing to do to gain acceptance would have been for the alt right to declare itself the alt-left. Media outlets and cultural doyens in general have a downright affinity for anything of the left. This is why when they encounter what they consider icky groups that are left of center, like Front Nationale in France or the PVV in Holland, they invariably brand them “right wing.”

  12. Because there is nothing more heinous than a people defending their right to a racial homeland.

    Except Israel.
    Except the Arab League.
    Except the African League.
    Except the Asian League.

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  14. I gave up on the whole CPAC thing around 1987. I attended three of them. After awhile it became the same old boring stuff. A old friend of mine was mugged in DC by Negroes and badly beaten while attending CPAC and eventually died of his injuries a few months later.

  15. “It would be interesting to know if shackled fathers watching their wives and daughters being led in chains to soldiers’ tents found solace in the righteousness of universalist morals. Or if, in contrast, they wished more attention had been placed on defending the Carthaginian people. I suppose all we can do is speculate.”

    Deep down, I chuckled at this 100% fact dark humour remark.

    However, my chuckles turned to cold sweat when I realized this is exactly where the leftoids are leading us.

    What they don’t understand is that THEY TOO will be shackled and treated as slaves by the invaders and by then it will be too late.

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