One of the more predictable results of Trump’s victory has been the left’s newly discovered enthusiasm for 10th Amendment doctrine and the sacred right of secession. In fact, almost precisely around 11:00pm on November 8, a principled and unshakable devotion to states’ rights began to percolate in the psyches of parties heretofore committed to centralized federal power. This impressive display of moral agility has extended into even such reliably lib recesses as militant transvestites.
One of these, Dana Beyer (board member of the jewish homosexual supremacist organization Keshet) paints HuffPo purple in an article lambasting the Trump-voting white devil, before finally settling into his primary thesis: America needs a two-state solution.
But just as I have no empathy or compassion left, I also have no room for hate in my heart [It is critical for libs in bitter mid-calumny to assure themselves that yearning for their enemy’s eradication does not constitute Hate]. Vengeance is toxic. So, in the interest of giving most Americans what they what, I again offer what I’ve previously called the 36th Parallel, or Two-State Solution. An amicable disunion so the white enthno-nationalist supremacists [already called neo-nazis earlier in the piece in case readers fear he had forgotten] have their own land, their own “safe space,” (as much as they revile that phrase), and diverse America can be free in its own country.
You will be pleased to learn that Mr. Beyer is prepared to do exactly that. Having completely forgotten previous prog commitments to deploy the US military in pitilessly crushing secessionist-minded conservative states, he now invokes his Yahweh-given right for liberals to separate from an oppressive federal Trumpgov.
Already there is a growing movement for a #CalExit, and New York has also announced its refusal to play nice with Washington beginning next year. We don’t need to secede from the start; even I can’t imagine Democrats having the guts to do it. But we can set up regional compacts in the northeast and Midwest to develop the governmental relationships that will lead to the future United States. Resistance to Homeland Security’s deportation raids and Muslim registries will build regional will to continue on the path to independence.
We can continue to flounder around in a miasma of pain and incomprehensibility, or we can work towards reclaiming the Declaration and Constitution from the fascists. A friend recently mentioned that the South won the Civil War, and we’re only now recognizing that fact.
I’m no more an advocate of “a miasma of pain and incomprehensibility” than I am of men’s mascara. So perhaps Beyer and I can work hand-in-hand–or maybe just keep our hands to ourselves–in helping foreign squatters pretend to give a shit about antique documents written by 18th century English colonists.
Also, I will inform sitting governors that the St. Andrew’s Cross may now be safely unfurled over Southern state houses as the threat of union troops has passed owing to the confederacy’s under-observed victory in the civil war. I expect the entire bayonet-point “civil rights” edifice will be off the books by noon tomorrow.
And though I am absolutely in favor of an amicable partition between angels and racists, there is one significant problem: the two-state solution already exists. Diverse Americans presently enjoy a varied multitude of “fascist” free countries. Alas, they are wholly uninterested in living in any of them.
So they propose to keep their own home countries, plus the ones of ours they may be willing to divide fair and square. A very generous offer if you think you’d like to have half your neighbor’s property and all of your own as well. But with every single immigrant originating from a two-state solution to begin with, the fact they insist on living in ours makes this seem like very little solution whatsoever. So what would be the utility of giving them more square miles to despoil and subsequently flee from? That’s where some very explicit reformulation comes in.
In the absence of radical constitutional and governmental reconstruction, (another) two-state solution would produce the same result as all those before: a frantic brown rush toward white oppression. Within 90 seconds of partition lib refugees (their menagerie in tow) would be knock knock knockin on Hatred’s door. And soon enough our children are being offered the next two-state solution in the quarter of the country remaining. This continuing like the tides until whites are in a shoebox, which jewish transvestites are willing to split 50/50.
Despite those criticisms, I’d consider the deal strongly. Half the lower 48 is a land mass twice the size of the UK, France, Germany, and Italy combined. And securing a habitat smaller though still substantial is more compelling than a long, miserable conflict for the whole. Of course this would come with the caveat that our new organizing principles would be shorn of the kind of universalist rhetoric that has given birth to the present predicament. That and a long line of very high border walls. Maybe Dana Beyer knows a country we could use as a model?