My Name is Richard Roma

There’s a quote from the unremarkable 1992 movie Glengarry Glen Ross that has always lingered with me. In it salty salesman Richard Roma advises office manager John Williamson of the latter’s role in their mutual enterprise.

Roma: What you are hired for is to help us…does that seem clear to you? To HELP US, not to FUCK US UP. To help those who are going out there trying to earn a living, you fairy. You company man.

Upon reflection, I can not recall this specific guidance being explicitly articulated to the stewards of our governments and institutions. As such, it occurs that many attributions of malice and venality may actually lie at the feet of mere ignorance. How can a government minister or secretary be expected to faithfully execute duties of which they were never informed? We only pompously presume they know to toil on our behalf rather than, say, that of chittering Somalis. But has anyone actually passed the message to our functionaries?

Apparently the people of Zwickau, Germany have contemplated the same questions, and subsequently came prepared to provide answers and more to German Minister of Justice Heiko Maas. You will recall Mr. Maas previously opining that the New Years Eve Rape of Cologne was the result of…sexist advertisements. That’s right, go ahead and offer a competing theory on those unfortunate transgressions. We here at the German Justice Ministry are eager to record your name, address, and opinion.

Well he’s in luck, because opinions were thick in the air as Heiko mounted the lecturn at Zwickau. Sentiments from the audience were expressed with a vigor that usually puts canny tyrants on private jet departures. If this is a reflection of common Teutonic attitudes, Merkel better tighten her Saracen guard.

You leftist rat!


Get out!

Maas must go!

Traitor of the people!

Enough is enough!

Get out!

And with a sniff of upturned nose, Maas turned on a heel and marched with his security phalanx to an armored Mercedes. In which he promptly sped away from the graceless scrum of proles who are good for very little besides subsidizing his sinecure.

Whether or not he absorbed Richard Roma’s advice on public service is a question that probably won’t be revealed before his show-trial. But until that process of civilizational hygiene commences, I’ll just remind all of our readers in high office: What you are hired for is to help us…does that seem clear to you?


11 thoughts on “My Name is Richard Roma

    • Well, it’s funny because Rubiobot preemptively declined. It’s an old saw, when you know you will not be asked, announce beforehand you are not interested.

      • It was pretty damn funny. Marco should have also mentioned he wasn’t interested in a threesome with Kate Upton and Emily Ratajkowski this Saturday night. He’s a crafty little Puerto Rican.

  1. Whenever anything like this happens in Germany it’s always in the former Soviet Zone. Jayman would say it’s because the genetics are different in the East. Maybe because they have the genes of “frontier” Germans mixed with wild Poles and other now vanished Slavic tribes. But I think history likely makes a difference too.

  2. I was hoping the S Class was going to get rolled. But, I guess that’s a few more thousand welfare tourists into the future. Merkel, Bergoglio, and that guy they got in the states, may they all never again have a moments peace.

  3. This looks like it has the potential to lead to a very virtuous cycle. Justice Ministers and other such organs of the state get insulted and spit on. They go back to their bubble and decide to stick it to those ingrate proles even more (“hmmm – visa free travel from Turkey pissed them off, let’s see how they like visa free travel from Libya!), and the ingrate paroles get even more agitated. This continues until the lampposts are groaning from the weight of ministers, staffers and even interns of ministry departments.
    As Tom Perty said, the waiting is the hardest part…

  4. Pingback: This Week in Reaction (2016/05/08) - Social Matter

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