There is a reason hotel guests don’t touch up the paint or replace the carpets. It is much the same reason they filch the toiletries rather than adding to the stock. Because an unrelated man is mostly a careful steward of his own pantry, while being a rapacious plunderer of yours.
Thus a crafty civil architect could create the impression of genius simply by weighing demographic scales heavily toward a unified society of ours rather than competing factions of theirs. The millions of small symbiotic decisions that follow will represent a greater investment in peace and prosperity than even the white privilege conference–a venue where hotel room soap has little chance of remaining unmolested.
Of course the timeless instinct of investing in ours and extracting from theirs is one so obvious and universal that I expect it will be unearthed momentarily by Harvard PhDs. Their jargon-dense white paper will note that many examples of this innate behavior are relatively benign and, in the case of businesses, baked into the operational model. Though as one’s perspective pans out to society, the effects grow increasingly pernicious. Decline occurs when mouths become more effective than hands. Eventually even the ours investors throw in the towel–or steal it. And at that point it’s just a race to the center of the tootsie-pop.
The inspiration for this lecture to our Ivy League readers arrived in the womb of this piece from Austria. In it a fecund Afghan couple have determined to not only lift the coffee-maker out of their Austrian hotel, but take the entire building as their own maternity ward.
Afghan couple who have nine children and receive £5,000 a month in benefits have asked for free IVF treatment
Who can blame a foreign middle-aged couple desperate for Europe to subsidize their tenth child? It’s not as if we Afghans are paying for any of them. That’s their Austrian responsibility.
Two of their children have disabilities so severe that doctors believe they would die without medical treatment.
But the couple remain determined to have a tenth child and have turned to Austria’s IVF fund to cover the cost.
I enjoy an almost preternatural gift for comprehending human behavior. In this instance, you will be dazzled by the insight. Yes, the presumptive mother is 44 years-old and has already saddled the state with lifetime medical costs for two of her nine prior reproductive sorties. Yet she is mystifyingly determined to spend an infinite sum of additional funds in pursuit of her single-uterus colonization effort. And the reason is: Why the fuck not? It’s on their tab, not ours. I said you would be impressed.
IVF treatment in Austria can be provided by the health service which pays up to 70 percent of the costs.
In some instances the health service will refuse to pay, with the age of the woman being one grounds for refusal.
But regardless of who pays for the actual IVF, the state will still pay for all of the proprietary work including hospital stays, blood tests, sperm tests and various gynecological costs.
There’s a certain non-western audacity that the occidental mind simply can’t process. And I doubt it’s alone in that regard. To gray aliens hovering in their orbital frying pans, the Afghans’ example of ludicrously invasive resource consumption must seem most bizarre in the hosts’ placid acceptance of it. If nothing else the scenario generates a paradox of natural selection, which posits a people couldn’t possibly have survived since tadpoles while being this stupid and gullible.
If only Suleiman the Magnificent had thought to march on Vienna with columns of pregnant concubines rather than sappers and cavalry. Had he done so the relinquishment of Europe could have been in the books centuries ago. Though as he was plainly more the tactician than strategist, we are now treated to his (broadly speaking) posterity’s encore.
So welcome to the Hotel Austria. You can check-out anytime you like, but we’ll pay you to conceive.