I was talking once with an emergency room doctor whose tongue escaped its reticence after a few liquid fortifications. This aided by the sense that candor would not result in his audience soiling their trousers. As a result he began to describe his normal workday experience, which consisted primarily of patching an interminable series of punctured mexicans. Apparently the knife is a primary conflict resolution tool in Hispanic culture.
Thus with the foresight of precedent and equal parts Spanish and tequila on the air, most of his initial patient interviews began with: So where did you get stabbed, Jose? How did he know his name was Jose? He didn’t. What did it matter? One Amerind is very like another, when your hands are buried in their gore my brother. So Jose it was, as his missing medical insurance card was unlikely to object.
The doctor went on to express surprise over the almost eerie consistency of his practice as well as feeling often like the mercenary medic of a foreign army. Knowing the answer, I asked a question for sake of camaraderie alone: And just who pays the medical bills for all those Joses emerging from the shadows?
He chuckled a response: Who the hell do you think?
And so hour after night after week after month, drunken stabbed Aztecs waddle in to this man’s care to receive the best medical treatment white taxpayers can provide. It’s quite a benefit…I mean for the taxpayers, of course.
I realized that fact after perusing a libertarian forum a few nights ago. In it, one of the participants was explaining the myriad economic enhancements from immigration. I wondered briefly about immigration’s effects on other aspects of life not captured in a GDP report. But then quickly recalled I was reading a libertarian and so dismissed any concerns beyond widget procurement.
Anyway, the commenter advised that immigration creates generic demand, which necessarily generates jobs to accommodate this demand. Those jobs accruing to the benefit of both native and immigrant alike. There are no losers here. The theory is actually pretty damn simple, provided you don’t try to ruin it in practice.
The lesson I took from this is one I regretted not being armed with during that discussion with the emergency room MD. For I think he may have warmed to its potential. Because stabbed Mexicans generate good American jobs. Perhaps even his own employment is contingent on a consistent supply. It is reasonable to assume there is an entire healthcare ecosystem that depends on stabbed Mexicans as blue whales depend on krill. Nurses, radiologists, medical device salesmen, cafeteria workers, hospital administrators, and
billing and collections staff.
I have to imagine if the public weren’t so ignorant of theories considered perfectly unremarkable in the Economics Department at George Mason, that it would pound the tables demanding more stabbed Mexicans. This in order to provide high paying jobs repairing them to IT workers displaced by H1Bs (who themselves generate demand for curry powder importers and street washers).
Hopefully the Technology CEO council will collaborate to develop a process of automated stabbing as Mexicans cross the border, that the economic rewards may be reaped without delay. It may be that we require a planned, systematic approach in transitioning to a stabbed Mexican economy. Or it may be that the most banal truths bear the biggest lies. One of which being the notion that stimulating demand is synonymous with stimulating wealth.
We would do well to acknowledge the world offers an abundance of both Economy and potential stab victims. That jealous hoarding of either will generate a higher standard of living for our own families is superstition rebranded as economic theory. And men who walk in theory never step in dog shit.