It Was a Good Life, He Never Saw Puerto Rico

I’ve never been to Puerto Rico–a fact I hope to have repeated at my eulogy. What little contemplation I spare for the island is mostly in earnest desire to avoid both its annual shitting of NYC and two La Raza senators via statehood. Despite efforts to maintain a salutary ignorance beyond this, the place has breached my consciousness on two recent occasions.

But first some background. PR is a Caribbean US territory. That is to say it is attached to the mainland gibs spigot but can not elect federal representation as tireless advocates for its people’s interests. So no Paul Ryan for them. As an aside, Puerto Ricans are vested with US citizenship at birth–much like Chinese tourist babies.

The place was originally populated by Taino indians who resided in abandoned termite mounds and capered about in nose feathers shooting blow darts at colorful frogs–maybe, I don’t know. Regardless, Columbus claimed the joint for Spain in 1493 and that’s when interesting history began. He called it Isla de San Juan Bautista or Saint John the Baptist Island. Following a few centuries of Spanish stewardship, it was captured by the US during the Spanish American war and subsequently ceded under the Treaty of Paris. In 2012, voters there expressed, in referenda, a preference for statehood. This being a position shared by President Fiat, though one not yet progressed in congress beyond committee (no statehood…in 2016?!).

As for demographics, official figures cite a population three quarters white. But this isn’t Connecticut. Not racially and, as a natural corollary, not economically.

In default, Puerto Rico faces ongoing fiscal pain

Like a homeowner with too big a mortgage, Puerto Rico has finally started falling behind on its payments. And it doesn’t look like there’s an easy way to refinance its huge pile of debt to make it more affordable. Gov. Alejandro Garcia Padilla announced Wednesday that the Caribbean island territory will be able to make most — but not all — of the nearly $1 billion in interest payments due January 4.
The economic decline also follows a major borrowing spree that has left the island with a debt pile that dwarfs any of the 50 states relative to its ability to pay.
For fiscal 2014, the latest data available for state-by-state comparisons, Puerto Rico’s total public debt outstanding topped $70 billion that outstrips its annual economic output. By comparison, the next most heavily burdened state, Rhode Island, had a debt-to-GSP ratio of 19 percent. Nebraska had the lowest, with a ratio of just 2 percent.

That’s left Puerto Rico with a crushing interest payment — more than 8 cents of every dollar of revenue — that is squeezing out funds for other local services.

That’s narcoleptic news for me. I suppose all those white ‘Ricans will simply have to tighten their belts and…

Commonwealth officials have called on Congress to act, but it’s not clear what form that help would take.

“This increasingly urgent situation demands swift Congressional action to give Puerto Rico access to an orderly restructuring regime paired with independent oversight,” the Treasury Department said Wednesday in a statement.

Ahh yes now I see. Borrow in ludicrous excess to live beyond any sustainable native capacity. And when the bills come due: The situation demands swift congressional action! I’ll surmise one component of that action will involve me subsidizing debt relief for a certain profligate atoll. Though at least it won’t be a novel experience. As I’m already obliged to seven billion and change per year. Did I mention Puerto Ricans don’t pay federal income taxes? At least we may be assured our charity is purchasing warm regards in the azure sea. Or so I’m not told.

Because I was coincidentally at a recent social function where two acquaintances were sharing their experiences of living in Puerto Rico on a months long work project. The older of the pair was circumspect in his descriptions, recognizing obvious constraints of social etiquette. It was from the younger that emerged an exuberant candor that pinched audience faces throughout the telling. I found it auspicious from the outset.

Let me just say this from the start: Puerto Rico is an absolute shithole and they HATE white people! I tucked into a drink and smiled.

He went on to regale the group with tales of persistent and unconcealed racial disdain, crumbling infrastructure, incompetence saturation, and a general milieu of broken, soiled, revanchist hostility. That is to say, a liberal utopia. None of this testimony can I corroborate, though his partner’s silence suggested he hadn’t perjured himself.

That a Caribbean island sullenly nursing from the teat of white taxpayers isn’t actually a travel pamphlet paradise was hardly a surprise. But the subtly pained responses of the audience was probably worth the trip.

As you can imagine, I don’t bear the company of bigots. And this was certainly a group pious in its racial propriety. So as our unrefined young traveler spoke of being demeaned, denied and harassed in starkly racial terms, the room became a riot of barely perceptible flinches and furtive sideway glances. Initially indulgent smiles became eldritch as the tale unraveled. Whites dun wrong is perfectly polite discourse. But whites been wronged is a decorum debacle. And when etiquette had finally been shelled beyond recognition, the awkward silence was broken in the only way it could: So, Susan, how was your family’s Christmas? San Juan Hill had been taken.

And though he’ll never voluntarily suffer Puerto Rico again, I took some bemused pride in our raw rhetorical Rough Rider.

Millennials may have their bull moose.


32 thoughts on “It Was a Good Life, He Never Saw Puerto Rico

  1. Sounds like you ducked a chance to make a statement, or at least an implication, of support.

    I’ve said before that I’m a social klutz, an Aspie, so not the best person to take social advice from; but I would have made a point of showing interest in what he was saying, asking questions and so on. No need to commit yourself to his views, but at least don’t join in the general staring silently at the floor or the wall, and then, after precisely the right interval, rebooting the conversation. I’ve seen it; even my own kids, need I say more? I consider it cowardly and often provoke it just to be bloody-minded.

    The day after the Christmas weekend, at my daughter’s Auckland NZ home, she entertained visitors from America. As usual, she begged me in advance not to say anything racist, and of course I disappointed her, but I maintain he started it. He asked my how come my family (South African-born) is scattered from one end to the other of the former British Empire. I explained that White South Africans had great difficulty in emigrating to any country, and had to take whatever chances presented. He didn’t know that, and asked why? I said, “Because we’re racists”, and we were off…

    Sorry, but I can not remain silent. Current rules of social intercourse demand it of me, but I can’t do it. I don’t suppose I convince many, but I break the taboo. It’s necessary if there is ever to be honest discussion of the subject. I generally stay on friendly terms with those who disagree, and this particular man acknowledged that, though he didn’t agree with me (yet!), he could understand why I hold my views. I chip away at their smug anti-racist positions, and it’s hard for them to reconcile my racist attitudes with the fact that, contrary to their expectations, I’m not a monster. In fact, the wimmenfolk all agree that I have “lovely” manners. And a fascist? How can this be?

    I’m sure you’d be much better at this stuff than I am, but I think it’s important not to leave our allies twisting in the wind. Declare yourself, if only with a secret handshake, a code word, a nod or a look. Let them know they’re not alone.

    • After I left a store recently, my wife asked if I had overheard the conversation at the register. Seems a nice white lady was preening over having lived in Germany for 10 years and just returned home. Her final gesture was to raise money for the incoming refugees. She was apparently beaming over her goodness.

      I replied that I had not heard that conversation. For if I *had* heard it, you can be damn sure I would have publicly raked that stupid wench over the coals for taking a big fat final dump on the country that had hosted her so hospitably for a decade. She would have been be begging for mercy.

      I have confronted leftists making anti-white point scoring remarks many times the past couple years and in every case they will back down and tuck tail without exception. They are never prepared for someone to stand up to them and make them look stupid and shamed. Shame works great on white people as others have discovered. We should be using the same tactics because it works.

      So bravo on introducing some RealTalk to those Americans. They know the score anyway, but just don’t want to admit it.

  2. Haha. Great story. The level of enthusiasm for diversity is inversely proportional to exposure to it.

    Or as they say in South Africa “The difference between a tourist and a racist is three days.”

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  4. Porter is Fred Reed incognito

    No, different rattin styles. Porter the superior wordsmithy (or, as Eliot put it in his dedication of ‘The Wasteland’ to Ezra Pound, “il miglior fabbro.” Fred would never be caught dead using a word like “eldritch.”

  5. I would have backed him up like so:

    If you’re bitter about the puerto ricans you’ll miss out on the benefits of mental masturbation.

    Yeah, you know when you stroke your own ego continuously, like, I worry about blacks, I am morally superior, I worry about gays, I am morally superior, and you go on like that for hours? That’s mental masturbation, you know, ego self-stroking.

    Mental masturbation is really awesome because you can create a synthetic sense of self esteem and feel like you’re the hottest shit without actually doing anything. All you do is talk, no work required.

    Think about all the idiots out there who work so hard becoming lawyers or doctors to feel they’re superior when it’s so much easier to just talk about your feelings for the poor blacks or puerto ricans and next thing you know you’re morally superior to everyone else.

    That’s why I am saying you’re missing out. You’re talking about puerto ricans and the mental masturbatory opportunity to show off how much better you are than all the rest of us is right there for the taking.. but you’re just wasting it.

    It’s a shame you’re missing out, that’s all. You should really look into the benefits of mental masturbation. If you need any advice let me know. I am a progressive so I am an expert.

  6. Or alternatively:

    I have to disagree with you because I am a progressive.

    We progressives believe that anyone making racist statements must be sacrificed or else the Evil God Adolf Hitler will..

    (raise hands in air)


    (pause and look around wild eyed)

    And blot out the SUN!

    (pause again)

    (resume normal tone)

    Have you heard of James Watson?

    He won the nobel prize for discovering dna and founded modern genetics.

    But then he sinned against progressive religion. During an interview he casually said that african development has its limits because blacks have low IQ.

    So you know what we did? We started screaming and screaming and scresming for his sacrifice or else the Evil God Adolf Hitler will..

    (raise arms)


    (wild eye look)

    And blot out the SUN!


    (pump fist in air)





    (resume normal tone)

    And we made it. He was fired from his university. By sacrificing him we saved the world from the Evil God Adolf Hitler.

    You should be grateful to us for saving the world by persecuting scientists.

    Are you grateful?

    Are you grateful?

    Are you grateful?

    (enjoy the silence from shamed progressives and the giggles from everyone else)

  7. Off topic, but I’m looking to mine the expertise here. If there are any readers with fairly extensive European travel experience (including preferably post invasion) who are willing to offer insight, please let me know.

      • I’m thinking about heading back over there (for pleasure, not business) in Current Year, and was interested in getting present state advice on potential destinations. If you don’t mind me Emailing you, put an address in the given field of your next comment.

        Or if preferred in the combox, I’m looking for ideas on what would constitute a romantic minimally Afro-Islamic 10-day itinerary for Ivanka and me.

    • The Lake District, England, is relatively free of the scimitar and fistula tsunami. Keswick, Grassmere and Windermere are still able to charm. It’s a two hour drive from Manchester airport, where you can be off to Madeira (Portugal), the island of eternal flowers, in 3 hours.

  8. Lived abroad for a bit and have family in Italy and Portugal. Be happy to share my experiences with diversity there.

  9. If Holland (minus the backwards and inbred Friesland region, hence not “The Netherlands”) interests you, I’d be glad to help.

  10. Feel free to email me.

    For the zero invader experience I recommend:

    Switzerland (Ticino)
    Principality of Monaco
    Czech Republic

  11. “Ahh yes now I see. Borrow in ludicrous excess to live beyond any sustainable native capacity. And when the bills come due: The situation demands swift congressional action! I’ll surmise one component of that action will involve me subsidizing debt relief for a certain profligate atoll.”

    It is almost like someone benefits from this. Like there is some missing part of the equation which results in these people being encouraged to borrow.
    I brought this up with my good friend Menachem Rosenblatt but he reliably informed me that I am mistaken and pointed out that X-Factor is on tonight.

    [I know the “alt right inc” has moved past type of comment. Admittedly it is practically redundant at this stage.]

  12. Again thanks everyone who offered advice. At some point I’ll be in touch with my travel professionals for plans that take me in their area of expertise.

  13. I’d like to be of assistance to you there, but I haven’t travelled much in Europe lately. and even the remotest places are changing fast, especially in places like Sweden.

  14. I’ve been paying attention on and off since before the defaults, because the Puerto Rican government changed their business taxes and regulation. Peter Schiff moved his business there- other folks went to live there. There are enclaves, and many rumors of rich folks buying up the island while Puerto Ricans flee here.
    So, when the smoke clears, it could be a half way decent place to live in a few years. I think this ‘congress must do something’ is an attempt to get back on the gravy train- i.e. get back to unsustainable borrowing. If they are just stuck, then maybe reality means saner governance, which in turn means more people leaving because they can’t keep their gravy train job. And those who go down there to pick up cheap island property are going to be the sort who don’t need that nonsense.
    Long shot, I know.

  15. The Deepsource link is bookmarked. Much thanks. Have distant relatives in Germany and plan to go there soon. Maybe just in time for the main event.
    As for Puerto Rico, and their hatred of whites:I expect nothing less anymore from people who produce practically nothing and live off the sweat of others.

  16. Pingback: This Week in Reaction (2016/01/03) | The Reactivity Place

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