There’s really no shortcut to accepting modern Western discourse. Only through sustained desensitization can one read what are intended as serious news articles without looking behind the curtains for a man named Funt. It’s much like the acclimation required by those who would scale Everest. They climb to a series of encampments at increasingly higher elevation until their bodies have adjusted to altitude sufficiently for an assault on the summit. Without this process, exposure at 29,000 feet would bring death quicker than a Stop the Violence rally.
Similarly, if one of our grandfathers were plucked from their rational sea-level society and fast-forwarded into the thin air of modern mores, I imagine only seconds would elapse before cerebral arteries collapsed from strain of disbelief. The elasticity of the human mind is not infinite. And that’s why it is imperative for those in a time-traveling future to keep articles like this far from contact with cherished ancestors.
The piece is one of self-congratulation for Irishmen who have applied their formidable technical expertise toward enhancement of critical law enforcement IT systems. These presently capable of achieving full-spectrum capture of hate-based infractions in real-time. Now a corpulent Nigerian is only seconds away from his bleats of bigotry finding purchase in a state-of-the-art taxpayer-funded Oracle database. Practical solutions through technology.
GardaÍ will now be able to record instances of racism and hate crimes directly into their computer systems.
For the first time, officers investigating offences such as Islamophobia and homophobia will be able to log complaints directly into the Pulse system.
The move has been heralded by various groups across the country as a “massive step forward” in the battle to tackle sickening hate crimes in Ireland.
For those unfamiliar, the Pulse System is an acronym for Pigeon-hearted Unctuous Lickspittles Sucking Enthusiastically. Though regardless of name, these doughty lads are your first line of defense in the battle against sickening hate crimes.
Under the overhaul, the system will be able to open cases directly linked to a number of offences. The categories include…
Acts against people with disabilities
And gender-related issues.
The decision to allow gardaí across the country to log crimes as acts of hatred and racism not only brings the gardaí into line with the PSNI and other European police forces but also tells victims that they do not have to suffer in silence,” he added.
Atomic clocks can be safely set to the presumption that victims of racism will not suffer in silence. Howler monkeys represent a more quietly contemplative cohort. Though at least simians have the sense to not seek residence with what allegedly grieves them. Are the silent sufferers actually dumber than primates? Or are their credulous Western hosts? I’d wager grandpa could reveal the answer…before his mortal swoon.