Fast Funny on CNBC

Let the gibbering begin.

Kasich utterly ignores the idiotic opening question. Begins a filibuster instead. More people should use this approach in daily interactions.

Hey Steve, did you get that drain fixed?

Ted it’s not about the fucking drain. It’s about how my wife drowns herself in pills and booze, and my daughter’s pregnant by a black boyfriend, and how every goddamn night I pray for oblivion’s sweet release.

Ok then! We’ll see you Saturday.

Bush starts whining about bad people.

Rubio says his most glaring weakness is that he’s too optimistic. Having a hole in his back where Sheldon’s hand goes would have been our top response.

Trump actually gives an honest answer to weak question. Says he’s vindictive as hell.

Carson says his weakness is that he didn’t think he would ever be president. A common affliction he can be assured.

Secretariat says she doesn’t smile enough. I guess you have to start somewhere.

Cruz says being a fighter is his worst weakness.

Christie says dems are the real weaksists!

Paul ignores the question and talks about debt. He should borrow for some charisma.

Moderator asks trump if his is a comic book candidacy. Journalistic Professionalism.

Carson is for flat tax. Also wants some vague agency cuts.

Kasich is on bath salts. He’s not going to let the second hand get around once without interjecting. CNBC moderators just letting him hold court.

Trump rips into Kasich’s involvement with Lehman brothers. Customarily mocks his poll numbers also.

Kasich relaunches another hobby horse telethon.

Carson meandering around The Economy. Appears to have actually never heard the word.

Cruz for cutting taxes. Not one person mentions spending.

Fiorina wants the entire tax code reduced from 73,000 pages to 3. Why not tweet it?

Rubio says he doesn’t have time to wait for the presidency. He’s visibly reciting lines now. He’s been drilled hard in preparation. Asked if he “hates his job” as senator. Another imbecilic question. Rubio thunderous in denouncing media hypocrisy evident in the questions thus far…crowd roars approval.

Yeb criticizing Marco for running for president instead of staying in the senate. Rubio effectively sits his ass down to delighted cheers.

Bush plainly in a fit of pique tonight.

Moderator actually asks Bush if he’s losing because republican voters are so dumb. Amazing how rancid these questions have been.

Moderator says Fiorina turned a dollar invested in HP into 50 cent (a rapper apparently). Sea Biscuit neighs in protest, though eventually cobbles together a feasible response.

Cruz justifiably excoriates moronic moderators. Crowd roars.

Someone finally finds Rand Paul under the cushions. Christie emerges blinking beside him.

Christie makes honest observation that social security funds are GONE. There is no lockbox Gorebots.

Huckabee says no cuts to entitlements. They were a promise made to those who have paid the machine. Christie says cuts must be acknowledged as we have to accept the math. It’s an honest and legitimate point of debate.

Cruz splits difference between Huckabee and Christie positions on entitlements. Wants elderly to keep what they are due and young people to be phased down and out…while still paying in?

Huckabee makes accurate observation the government’s filching of SS funds would have them in prison if named Madoff.

Carson admirably doesn’t lord his stratospheric IQ over the panel. In fact, one hardly detects it at all.

Christie lampoons Holder/Lynch Justice Department (sic). Though doesn’t go nearly far enough. He wouldn’t dare touch the obvious race angle.

Bush needed an energetic performance tonight. And is energetically whining. Actually offers a make out session in exchange for spending cuts.

Trump hasn’t underperformed, but is fading into the wallpaper.

I’m worried the Chinese Air Force may steal the design specs on Rubio’s ears.

Marco says the $1 million he made on his book made for tight finances raising his family.

Kasich cut his hair with a weed eater.

Cruz asked how he will give more money to women. [Bunny ranch!]

lol. Carson gazing idly out the window…couldn’t care less.

Carson says man + woman does not equal hate. I think there’s a few Tumblr blogs that would say differently, you black bigot.

Crowd spontaneously starts booing moderators. It’s richly deserved, as the questioning at times has dipped to Salon-level shitlib. But are Republicans so dumb they can’t forecast this in advance? Ask this blog to moderate the next debate and you won’t suffer these issues.

John Harwood is impressively consistent in the pettiness and irrelevancy of his questions.

Moderator cites Jeff Sessions on H1Bs against Rubio. Marco can’t explain why Americans aren’t working with millions of Indians funneled in to undercut. He’ll look into it.

Good lord what a fuck up. Trump just came out in favor of more H1Bs. Cites Zuckerberg favorably. Crowd, moderators, and this reporter are stunned.

Rubio ripping media. Crowd loves it.

Cruz wants end to the FRB’s star chamber monetary policy. That term might stick.

Paul hates the FRB. Sometimes hate is enough.

Rubio will do well as wee-man in Jackass 7. Had no idea he was that short.

Rubio and Harwood on a yes/no merry-go-round. Marco not clear on difference between money amounts and percentages.

Paul wants to move payroll taxes from worker to business. Not much in the wash.

Cruz wants tax forms on toilet paper, or something.

Kasich against legalizing marijuana. Begins new filibuster on another unrelated topic.

Trump gets called out on earlier H1B question. His criticism of Zuckerberg appears on his own website (as he was complimenting him earlier in the debate). Won’t answer question on H1Bs. Keeps chanting LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL in some shamanic incantation. So just make Bangladesh a state and we can move on to actual important topics.

Huckabee ridicules another idiotic moderator question. It’s become quite the duck shoot tonight.

Kasich has to get that mouth tic under control.

The panel is now actually discussing fantasy football. That’s not a joke. Bush blunders into some tarpit on Vikings or Steelers. Christie senses the prey and leaps to maul Bush, the moderators, and the Sea God Neptune. Crowd loves it.

Christie talking about wonderful wind and solar…doesn’t mention subsidies.

Paul idiotically says entitlements’ demographic problem is “too many damn kids” in the baby boom. Hey the Etruscans didn’t have a single damn kid this year. Boy are they setting up for the future.

Huckabee says we spend too much healthcare money on illnesses. Need to eradicate all diseases and healthcare costs would trend to zero: QE fucking D. Hey Mike, we ain’t getting out of life alive.

Trump says entitlement programs will be paid for by GROWTH.


Carson wants to take massive Medicare/caid budgets into some form of distributed private accounts. It’s an interesting proposition, though wow does he come across as loopy on benzos.

Below are my concluding impressions.

Trump hurt himself. His positive response to Zuckerberg and H1Bs was flummoxing. He launched no memorable fusillades, and largely appeared to be moving under the power of inertia. I don’t know if he realizes how much of his support is vested in anti-H1B sentiment. If he repositions his candidacy as nothing more than wealth and ego, it will deflate rapidly.

Carson’s appeal continues to evade my comprehension. I know there is a substantial Hallelujah contingent, though for them Huckabee is far more engaged and articulate. Is the entire Carson impetus nothing other than We’re not racist!? God help us if so.

Rubio aided his cause, perhaps significantly. He’s a telegenic and studious marionette. You could actually watch the gears grinding as he regurgitated one practiced spiel after another. And he did so quite convincingly to most viewers I’m certain. Unfortunately he is a callow arriviste whose ambition far exceeds his intellect. And worse, one whose eminence grise occupies a prominent position in the Kakistocracy banner rotation. Though to his credit, he may have just delivered the fatal strike to

Yeb is in pain. His polls have grown more limp than men gazing at his wife. Worse, the establishment is becoming uneasy and wants its money on a horse who is both reliable and headed toward the backstretch. Bush needed an animated performance and simply didn’t deliver. He doesn’t have a lot of voter support to concede, but I expect some of it to start sloughing off to Marco.

I’ll stop with Cruz until any others can dig out of the carpet fibers. He did fairly well, and seems to be toddling around with a puke bag behind Trump. And if Donald continues to hurl up responses like his H1B flub, Ted will gather the detritus and keep running to Tel Aviv…or Washington…or Silicon Valley…or wherever this country is operated from.

Good night.


15 thoughts on “Fast Funny on CNBC

  1. Pingback: Fast Funny on CNBC | Reaction Times

  2. “Kasich has to get that mouth tic under control.”

    Haha, someone else noticed.

    “Is the entire Carson impetus nothing other than We’re not racist!? God help us if so.”

    Red America loves a magic negro as much as Blue America, just a slightly different flavor.

    “Trump hurt himself. His positive response to Zuckerberg and H1Bs was flummoxing.”

    As grating as the moderators were, there really is no excuse not to know what’s written on your own freaking website. Right at the end of a paragraph that is decidedly not in favor of the H1B status quo, no less. And while keeping track of the big picture and delegating the minute details to policy spergs is a fine strategy and all, there comes a point where it starts to look like a lack of preparation. He’d do well to start adding to his repertoire.

    • I agree. Of course it’s easy to armchair anyone when not under the bright lights, so some latitude for missed policy details must be granted. But this wasn’t a detail, but an exact opposite position–and one that cut at the basis of his Americans first support. It was as bad as it looked.

    • Trump definitely needs to clarify his position on H1-B. Previously, it was that employers would be required to pay higher salaries to H1-B workers than to US citizens, so as to prevent employers using H1-B to undercut US citizens. Now, he’s cast doubt on whether that is his position. I hope he clarifies it soon. He should also look at the qualifications that are recognized for H1-B status. Many countries countries have universities that churn out very poor quality graduates. When it comes to people recruited from abroad for professional and managerial jobs, instead of just trusting that a degree from abroad is equivalent to a degree from the US, the govt should require proof of the applicant’s high ability in the form of scores from an established, standardized, US-based test such as GMAT, GRE, etc., and it should be deemed that anyone not scoring in, say, the top 10% on that test does not have a genuinely scarce ability.

      • Nobody cares whether the foreigners are actually qualified for their jobs, or even what they’re getting paid. The problem is that they are being shipped into OUR country to displace OUR workers. Regardless of whether the replacements are paid 50%, 100%, or 150% of the Americans’ salaries, those Americans were FIRED WITHOUT CAUSE — or never hired in the first place because their slot was pre-occupied by a foreigner. And for those of us who didn’t lose our jobs, but merely live near those companies, we suffer an aesthetic penalty of having to see ugly-ass mud people, completely alien to our culture, in our cities. And it’s not just Pintar Poonjab, the IT Apprentice. It’s his ugly-ass wife and kids, and her mother with the flaccid roll of belly flesh drooping out of her vibrantly-colored sarong. I don’t know or care if the tag-alongs are sponging foodstamps and medicare and Section 8, or if they are fully-productive, job-creating, atomic clock scientists. They don’t belong here.
        The most recent and notorious examples from the headlines are Facebook, Disney, Microsoft and Socal Edison. Each is so huge and pissed with cash, they have to play Brewster’s Millions every year to get rid of their money before Uncle Sam takes it; so there was never any dire need for them to go dynamite fishing in the Ganges to scour up talent. All this “legally, legally” and “prevailing wage” bullshit is a ruse. Edison is a government-protected monopoly that charges whatever the hell they want. Disney charges whatever the hell they want, and the fat slobs still waddle into their parks to consume $10 worth of corn syrup during a 2-hour wait in line. Facefuck a shitty website worth $300 billion in Tulip Money because people forgot what we learned after the 90s – that websites are not worth 300 billion dollars.
        H1B is not being used to find “talent Americans don’t have”, or to save a million bucks for trillion-dollar companies. It’s being used to fuck Americans and fuck America.

      • Alex was holding back for sake of diplomacy, though if Trump had righteously exploded with something very similar, you could start stenciling his brand name on the White House.

  3. Another point I’ll add is one appearing in the post and now searing the media. CNBC is getting savaged for its frantic bias. Even some libs are grumbling, as they prefer a more nuanced style of field tilting. If every creature on Earth grasps the gig, it’s hardly going to be as effective. Libs need patinas of legitimacy, otherwise they are simplly scorned or ignored.

    Though fault lies primarilly with the constitutionally feckless republicans. Expecting a lib to stow their libery for two hours of pseudo-professionalism is as rational as inviting a goose into your living room on the hopes it won’t shit the carpet.

    Republicans seem as impervious to this concept as they are to the futility of cultivating ghetto Reagans. As in nature, the oblivious get processed through intestines.

    Lesson learned: so is Rachel Madow available for the next debate?

  4. My H1B criticism of Trump is that he’s missing both a moral and political opportunity. To debate the details of the program is to lend it unearned legitimacy. It is complete flimflam.

    Every person outside of black twitter can comprehend that scarcity and scarcity at the price I prefer to pay are two wholly distinct concepts. Make that a second group: cuckservatives. And a third: congressmen.

    America has no shortage of burritos because I can’t buy one for .99 cents. Though I hear this ludicrous rationalization from real-life decision makers in multiple industries all the time. Intelligent men. Men who are surprisingly easy to fool when being a fool is profitable.

    Though arguing about how many high percentile pico dippers we should import is obviously counterproductive as it validates the proposition. This is where conservatives and Trump have failed.

  5. Most Republicans merely favour legal over illegal immigration. All those ten million illegals need to do is get to the back of the queue and get their status legally, then start paying taxes like honest Americans, blah blah. In fact, having ten million illegals is the lesser of two evils in that case. When they’re legalised, each can bring in half a dozen dependent (on the American taxpayers, that is) relatives.

  6. Pingback: This Week in Reaction (2015/11/01) | The Reactivity Place

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