Ashley You Little Slut

I was reading a piece today that sought to analyze the demographics of the Ashley Madison marital cheating site that recently took a very large and loud data dump.

đź’©

The statistical evidence compiled therefrom was quite remarkable. A portal that purported to generate armaments for adulterous liasons could provide the swords…but not the sheaths. In practical terms, the only Ashley or Madisons on the site were in the title. Nearly all of the (few to begin) female profiles were completely inactive and likely fake from the outset. The ironic result being that a man suave enough to out-jostle 10,000 peers per available female was probably capable of accumulating a full harem in more equitable venues. In a display of life’s innate symmetry, Ashley Madison functionally returned millions of men to the time of their origin.

I like to role play and cuddle

I like to role play and cuddle

Though more interesting than what was essentially a lucrative same-sex cyber bathhouse, are the marital dynamics that fertalized the ovum of Ashley’s corporate earnings. Millennia of books, songs, and sonnets have been penned to capture the psycho-sexual grappling between the sexes. One might think the eons would lend more competence in managing our fractious loins. But maybe we wouldn’t even want it if so. There’s romance in returning to a puzzle unsolved. In a smile that always conceals its last secret. Unfortunately secrets also tend to produce tear streaks as often as mischievous grins. A more comfortable middle ground is probably accessible for those willing to expend the effort.

And that begins with a base comprehension of marital code. These being the encrypted communiques that both partners typically take pains to not decipher. I’ve always thought the female chore in this regard was enviably elementary. Be sweet, sexual, and slender. A woman can proceed to nibble around the edges, but that’s the meal. Men are reproductively rudimentary creatures.

So when a husband says: Honey, I think it would be good for us to do more things together. Hey, why don’t we start an exercise program?” He is saying: I want you to lose weight and have more sex. These being veiled entreaties the prudent wife does not blithely disregard.

There’s actually a great number of indications by which husbands convey the desire for greater sexual intimacy to their wives. These include coded expressions such as:

Hello
Good morning
What are we having for lunch? and
I think the kids will be fine playing in traffic for a few minutes.

With almost unerring consistency, sexually fulfilled husbands do not appear in the Ashley Madison secure delete database. Yet, it must be conceded, some men are too sniveling, effete, and obeisant to warrant their wives’ suffering embrace. These are the men that appear instead in the Redstate.com database. And you don’t require my input to know which of these websites represents the greater public humiliation.

14 thoughts on “Ashley You Little Slut

  1. “Yet, it must be conceded, some men are too sniveling, effete, and obeisant to warrant their wives’ suffering embrace. These are the men that appear instead in the Redstate.com database.”

  2. I like your use of the self-contradictory phrase “sexually fulfilled husbands”. It’s a bit hard to even conceive, but definitely a creative piece of wordsmithing.

  3. Porter: I’ve been on the road for a few weeks and have had trouble accessing your site, fearing you had been tossed for good. Now home, I found I could get in by calling up an archived piece and then navigating from post to post, but when I try to get in through the front door or even when I hit the “home” link, I get a WordPress message that the that the blog is no longer available, and that “This blog has been archived or suspended for a violation of our Terms of Service.

    The same thing happens when I try the Google link route.

    I’m glad to find out that the Kakistocracy blog lives to hate another day, but there are still apparently some access problems. Or is it just me?

    • Rev, Northern Refugee reports the same thing. However, in trying to diagnose his problem I have not been able to replicate it.

      So it’s happening to some and not others apparently.

  4. off topic…but is it ever off topic?

    1:58 choked up, lord knows it’s a difficult time for the department, but all we have is…dark complected.

    apb: suspect is wearing cotton and is be possibly without sunscreen, and is considered to be defensive after suffering racist gestures.

    • sorry – 1:40
      It’s a very, VERY tough moment for the whatever Sheriff’s office

      2:00 dig the facial tells. compare it to the rest of the description. lmao

      Sorry officer, but you get neither my thoughts nor my prayers unless you begin to call things by their proper names.

    • His eyebrows…and check out the suit on the left…the body language.

      In the industry, we refer to that as a “tell”.

    • How, pray tell, are police certain the suspect is male? Genitalia was concealed whilst Negroid features were not. It would appear that descriptor was more obvious than gender.

  5. Pingback: This Week in Reaction (2015/08/30) | The Reactivity Place

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