Optimism. For many it is the junk food of the soul. And where not in ready supply, men will reliably be engaged in attempts to cultivate it. I am certain the belief that it will never get that bad is one of the most painfully lamented in human experience. Tonight I’m going to discuss a version painful only to human dignity: US politics.
Helen Keller wouldn’t be overly strained to discern ongoing intent. The Republican establishment, and its constellation of sucking remoras, are desperate to jettison Trump. Despite their affected outrage and general gnashing of teeth, there couldn’t be an easier task. Simply field a candidate who offers what their constituents demand. That’s all. But because ConInc refuses with religious zeal to accomodate conservative voters, they find themselves being routed by the most unlikely insurgent: a plutocrat liberal. But one who nonethless offers what their party never would: lip service.
Perhaps a President Trump would build a wall to Uranus (or wherever, Ms. Kelly), or maybe he wouldn’t. Though such speculation isn’t what’s most relevant. The foreign majority is now born domestically each day, and the annual population equivalent of Montana supplements them legally. At some point a huge border wall just becomes a monument. You don’t lock doors inside your own house. And you won’t maintain a fence to keep Mexicans out of northern Mexico. Once pressure equalizes, no one needs an airtight seal.
But all of that is far beyond the reckoning of most conservatives, who still consider 90% of the Earth’s exploding population as “minorities.” The notion that their national inheritance was stolen while they drooled at football games only seems to emerge in brief moments of lucidity. This occurring most often upon attempting to contemplate why no politicians seem to hear a word they say. And after saying the same thing about the border debacle for a generation, a most unusually coiffed fellow rose to the mic and said: “I hear you.” A million hearts fluttered.
Though many hearts remained grounded. These are now mostly busy pumping the squid ink that veils expedient as outrage. They want him gone and will mine his remarks for hate until he is. Trump’s initial political traction was met by obligatory indignities over his “Mexican rapists” comments. You can’t say that about natural conservatives! We, for one, welcome our taco-gorging overlords. Surely that gaffe would end it.
As Trump’s poll grew despairingly erect, deflated Republicans alighted on the next affront-du-jour: He said McCain wasn’t a war hero! Unfortunately, everyone and their grandmother hates McCain even more than McCain hates a morning without mushroom clouds.
Which brought us to the debate, where Trump eventually shambled out of a thicket of Fox set-ups to mumble some complaint about the alleged exsanguination of his comely tormenter.
“She (Megyn Kelly) had blood coming out of her eyes, her…wherever.”
It’s not at all certain he was implying menstruation, though we certainly can’t imply women do that. And so the outrage jalopy was pummeled back to wheezing life in hopes Trump could finally be stuffed in its trunk. His opponents, with I think only one admirable exception, began braying on cue: You can’t not-quite say women have periods! This was followed immediately by a truculent disinvitation to some irrelevant “RedState” confab by cuckservatism’s corpulent castrato, Erick Erickson. This must be where Trump falls. No less an authority than GOP leaders say so. Consider these excerpts.
Republican leaders who have watched Donald Trump’s summer surge with alarm now believe that his presidential candidacy has been contained and may begin to collapse because of his repeated attacks on a Fox News Channel star and his refusal to pledge his loyalty to the eventual GOP nominee.
Party leaders hope to pivot away from the Trump sideshow and toward a more serious discussion among a deep field of governors, senators and other candidates.
Trump’s erratic performance during and after the first Republican presidential debate last week sparked a backlash throughout the party Saturday and a reassessment of his front-running bid.
A consensus is forming in Republican circles that Trump’s eruption over Kelly and other Fox News anchors makes his campaign anything but serious.
“The fire still burns, but the fire is now contained,” said Alex Castellanos, a veteran GOP strategist. “He can’t grow. He has condemned himself to be a protest candidate, not a serious candidate for the Republican nomination. That means we now move forward to a more normal debate.”
So Trump is suffering a backlask among apparatchiks. How many voting machines have they got? Is it conspicuous by omission who is not mentioned as having abandoned him? Regardless, one has to marvel at the fire analogy. He’s polling double the next closest competitor. Glad we got that contained.
“What could come out of this debate is Republicans beginning to have a conversation about the ticket,” said Matthew Dowd, a former strategist for President George W. Bush. He said there was considerable chatter on Friday about pairing Kasich and Sen. Marco Rubio: old and young, white and Latino, executive and legislator, swing-state Ohio and swing-state Florida. “Maybe that’s the ticket.”
That’s what I appreciate about the Republican establishment. They’re willing to have the conversations voters needn’t be concerned with. Like who will be the nominee, for instance. After all thinking too hard on that topic might interupt the gridiron. See how easy it is to just let the professionals handle? Kasich and Rubio: two candidates with combined support of 10%. I’ll see what Coach Belichik thinks. He may want to insert Rolling Pin Christy into our goal line formation.
In an interview Saturday, Erickson said Trump’s remarks about Kelly — a favorite of conservatives and a colleague of his at the network where he works as a contributor — woke up the “sleeping giants” within the conservative movement.
Cringe at the wrath of conservatism roused. These mental Gigantopithecuses will vent their fury over something they have been told to be furious about by electing a Real Conservative like…Carly Fiorina.
Even without being in Atlanta, Trump dominated the conference on Saturday. One after another, presidential candidates were asked to respond to Trump’s comments. On stage, Erickson described the hundreds of e-mails he had received that morning from Trump supporters calling President Obama “the n-word” and Kelly “the c-word.”
This is what it has come to. Grown men in the bloom of their obesity reading fake letters full of “alphabet words” to an auditorium of reputed adults. These are the “serious” political operatives to whom others should defer.
Of course all of these “Trump is done” pronouncements are transparent efforts to drive a fulfillment narrative. It is hoped repetition eventually becomes reality. Though for now, there’s a lot of falsely optimistic Republicans spending their evenings wishing on a star.