The Debate

5:15: Rick Perry congratulates himself for securing the Texas border. Reminder to self: the Texas border is secure.

5:17Graham: The muslims are coming here if we don’t kill them there…or something. What if we just don’t let them in?

Announces perpetual war policy across the middle east.

5:20: Pataki calls for banning Internet access to Muslims in America. Interesting suggestion.

5:22 Fiorina wants cyber walls torn down. Suggests that Google should merge with USG.

5:24: Santorum says migrants should obey immigration laws…EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T WANT TO.

5:32 Perry hammering the border situation hard. I wonder how many Mexicans are in Texas.

5:36: Lindsey has two loves: The Economy and war.

5:40: Santorum plugging American manufacturing (good). Says we achieve it by adjusting tax rates (ummm).

Gilmore: Taxes and Economy. These candidates love this Economy guy.

Pataki: Mandatory workfair. Repeal Obamacare.

Perry: War (yay!) Iran (boo!)

Fiorina: On Day 1 as President I would phone my boss, Netanyahu.

Santorum: Gay marriage a rogue SC decision.

Gilmore: Create a middle east NATO of our greatest allies.

Graham: Christ he’s a psychopath. Asked a question on planned parenthood, responds with 8th appeal for regional war in middle east. Calls for expanded NSA.

Perry and Santorum: Will discard every Obama exec order on day 1. Good, but I’ll see it when I believe it.

Fiorina: I am a conservative because I believe every person is the same (seriously).

Graham: Shockingly closes with call for war with Iran. Gasps of surprise are muted.

Conclusion: Santorum best, Jindal sober and rational, Perry on bath salts, Fiorina terrible, Graham looking for a bag of AB+, and the others a nondescript mush.

The Bret Baier mannequin appears quite realistic.

Absolutely shit start to the debate. Hatchet job by Fox.

Carson: LOL. “I have a brain.” Take that Michael King.

Rubio: Can he take flight with those ears? Marco bragging now about his weak finances.

Bush: JEB going hard on The Economy. He actually pulled it off well.

Trump: LOL. “Rosie O’Donnell.” Another shit hatchet question from Fox. It’s unreal what a set up these first two questions have been.

Cruz: Talks too slow. He’s trying to manufacture effect.

Christie: Chris is a light-skinned black man. Jobs…Economy.

Huckabee: Goes hard after abortion.

Paul: He forgot to comb his hair. Wants to cut funding to ISIS and other related union shops.

Kasich: hyperventilating and wildly gesticulating.

Bush: “Illegals have no other option but to come here.” Wants a path to “earned legal status. IT’S NOT AMNESTY.”

Trump: Fields another goof question. Responds with: “You wouldn’t even be talking about immigration if not for me.” Wallace smirks like a coquettish girl.

Kasich: Admits the obvious…”Trump has touched a nerve.”

Walker: I changed my mind on immigration because I listened to what the people want. Fair enough.

Cruz: Leaders “in the Washington cartel” don’t want to enforce the immigration law. Agreed.

Christie: Wants more government monitoring.

Christie and Paul: Going to war with each other over government surveillance.

Some gay Nigerian hacks the debate with a video question.

Cruz: Shreds “poverty creates jihadi” argument that I suppose someone must have made somewhere.

Bush: I wouldn’t have gone into Iraq, and I would never leave.

Walker: We need more engagement in the middle east.

Huckabee: Politicians serve donors. Correct

Makes a 10th Amendment case.

Carson: For flat tax.

Bush: I’m against government involvement in education and for Common Core. Somehow actually pulled it off in front of a live audience.

Kasich: ECONOMY and “living in the shadows” appear in one response.

Carson: Hillary takes advantage of useful idiots, but I know people are not stupid.


Walker: Repeal Obamacare and give people the skills they need to succeed. Why hasn’t Sierra Leonne thought of that?

Christie: You have to deal with entitlements. True enough.

Huckabee: Tax pimps and prostitutes! lol

Trump: again sets his penis on Chris Wallace’s head.

Bush: Discussing his record on license plates.

Rubio: Going hard pro-life.

Kasich: Ridiculous answer on homosex marriage. It’s LOVE.

Paul: No government involvement in marriage.

Walker: #blacklivesblather is all about…training.

Premature Conclusion: The race is becoming Trump v. Bush. Both performed as their supporters hoped. Walker will fade and Carson is done. Rubio may have possibly moved up. Cruz/Christie/Paul bob along hoping a Trump wrong-talk will open the opportunity to get beaten by Yeb.


18 thoughts on “The Debate

  1. For any whose guts continue rumbling for Republicans, a little more analysis.

    Trump emerged as the Big Swinging Dick on stage. The delta in dominance between he and the comparative dwarfs was unmistakable. There are a great many previously contemptuous republican operatives now sharpening their tongues for the creases in his wingtips. The nomination is very far away, but he just made his candidacy legitimate.

    Another clearly distinguishing feature was his mostly extemporaneous responses, as opposed to the boilerplate drivel that is the stock tongue of seasoned politicians. He pulled it off in a manner that surely felt refreshing to viewers. Though obviously there is good reason politicians speak through circuit boards. And that reason is discipline. Without it gaffes may occur–the most horrifying being one that causes a pinprick of pique to some otherwise disinterested African. I assume most candidates are content to sail in Trump’s wake hoping to eventually pass his wreckage on the shoals of HATE. But for now, the Republican party is TRUMP PLAZA–and go fetch my Benz, fatboy.

    Bush continues to assure us of his awfulness. Though I don’t expect he’ll pivot to a more forthright slogan of: Most atrocious Bush yet! But I give him credit. He was well prepared with an almost-believable lacquer of humble public servant over his ruthless dynastic machine. He also fielded several impossible to reconcile questions about his liberalism with unrelated rising rhetorical crescendos on THE ECONOMY that actually culminated in ovations. It was an exhilarating display of diversionary bullshit that every man could learn from. Though even more influential than my position is the one taken by the whole of the ConCorp establishment. That is pro-Yeb. And these men are well accustomed to getting their candidate.

    Christy: Actually came out better than I anticipated given the weight of both his positions and jowls. He’s a very liberal republican who uses 9/11 and “national security” as his conservative talisman, rather than THE ECONOMY.

    Rubio: Not bad. I anticipate a slight uptick. He’s young and hispanicy. Said nothing of substance, but stared intensely at the camera while doing so. That should be sufficient to pad his female votes.

    Huckabee: Wants a very socially conservative Aztlan from what I can discern. Best of luck with that, Mike. Though if an invisible man were standing beside him, he suffered multiple punctures from Huckabee’s hydraulic pumping finger.

    Paul: Holding up the pseudo-libertarian wing. I support his opposition to the surveillance state, though think his “optics” are probably causing a headwind. He looks disheveled and sounds reedy. Doesn’t stare with nearly the effectiveness of Marco.

    Walker Mitty: I think Walker hurt himself more than anyone. He was polling #3. I expect that to fall. He just radiates no charisma: Milk Toast. He’ll need to limber the guns if he wants votes for anything other than as best sleep aid.

    Cruz: I would guess a tick down. Was able to achieve very little separation, other than as an Islamaphobe(!!) So I’ll give some credit there. But overall he needs to dispense with the affectations of gravitas and reveal a more animated Israeli bootlicker.

    Carson: Fox didn’t help him with its scant coverage. And he didn’t help himself when they did. I don’t expect to see him in another 10-man cut-off.

    Oh, and the number of times Iran and/or Israel was mentioned: dozens.
    Number of times for Indiana or Idaho: zero.

  2. I think the reason is not “discipline” so much as demographic polling arithmetic. But maybe we’re saying the same thing.

    It’s like contemporary “music”…it was bad enough when the computers began performing music, but now they’re composing it as well. hug me till you drug me.

    I don’t believe it, but it’s refreshing, and so I support him anyway. According to Scott Fitzgerald, I have a first-rate mind.

    BTW two days ago I was very close to a rampage when I checked in with the Kak and found a “can’t be accessed…violation of terms of service” page instead. Do you know about this? Of course it’s inevitable, but do you have a plan-B? your archive is precious.

  3. How does Christy ever recover from the baseball uniform pics?

    The Donald phenomenon cultivates many fantasies, such as:
    Bimbo asks a question about…whatever…during a “debate”
    Donald: Ladies and Gentlemen, the next President of the United States (while holding up a pic of ChristySausage stuffed into that baseball uniform).

  4. obvious homosexual arousal at 0:54

    Not…not like there’s anything at all wrong with that. I have after all always been a strong supporter of families.

  5. Yes, WordPress command issued the SHUT IT DOWN order, only to subsequently lift it about 14 hours later. I discussed what happened briefly in the Backlash comments. Contingency planning is something I’ll need to better address.

    As for the debate, career politicians understand that candor typically costs more votes from anger than it purchases in admiration. Thus every election we get an array of suited drones regurgitating pap: offend no one. That may ultimately continue as sound political policy, but republican voters are so generally furious at everything right now they’re not even gasping at improprieties. This is opening the lane wide for Trump.

  6. “The nomination is very far away, but he just made his candidacy legitimate…but republican voters are so generally furious at everything right now they’re not even gasping at improprieties. This is opening the lane wide for Trump.”

    Big deal, Trump is anti-PC. He’s a cuckservative. You’ll be shitting down his throat when he’s elected into the Oval Office and taking MODERATE stands on economic and social issues.

    • Idiotic. The viability of Trump’s candidacy has zero correlation to my opinion of his eventual policies. Hillary’s candidacy is also legitimate…regardless of future throat shitting.

    • As I said over at Vox’s: Trump could be a super-secret triple agent sent by the Bush family to look like he was sent by the Clinton family to convince the liberal base that he was really sent to ruin the republican primaries. He could drop out in a week. He could personally polish a gold plated Jeb Bush Memorial Welcome Door at the southern border with his nutsack if he wins.

      Dunno. Don’t care. All I care about are the lolz, and Trump delivers.

      I think this is the intellectually sound, emotionally mature Alt-right position.

  7. Pingback: This Week in Reaction (2015/08/09) | The Reactivity Place

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