Harvard Haitians vs. Asian Voodoo Zombies

Completely by accident I read a piece recently in the reliably abysmal USA Today by a columnist named Yamiche Alcindor. Ya-meech-ee? Yahmekay? Yeah-mike? No matter. Ms. Alcindor (no relation to Lew) is the daughter of Haitian immigrants who have spent very few breaths at all explaining how their progenitors had nothing whatsoever to do with the 1804 genocide. They almost seem to act as though the whole sordid episode isn’t even their responsibility for which to apologize. I’ve received none, at least.

At any rate she attended Georgetown University, a devoutly nominal catholic institution founded in 1789 which has a 17% acceptance rate. I think voodoo is often practiced alongside Catholicism in a sort of Haitian religious patois. Either way, they’re practically indistinguishable theologies–I believe Francis just issued an encyclical on the topic. So she’s plainly in good standing with the Georgetown founders’ intent. And there’s no reason to waste a prestigious slot on some American kid who has probably never even attempted to convert his neighbor into a zombie with tetrodotoxin.

So upon matriculation, she studied English and some exotic branch of theoretical physics called “African American studies.” While on campus she became involved with a racial supremacist organization called the “National Association of Black Journalists.” Praising this almost certainly FBI-infiltrated group, Yamiche gushed,

“It was amazing to see the commitment to diversity and to holding news organizations accountable for that,” she says. (But) “This country has still a long way to go,” she adds.

Right. It was amazing to see the commitment to diversity held by the association for black journalists. What’s that word ‘diversity’ mean anyway? Regardless, from high yellow all the way to blue gum, the NABJ is committed to diversity. But as she noted, this country still has a long way to go. Not only are whites still flouncing about with their heads attached, but some are even being admitted to elite universities in lieu of migrants from Hispaniola. In 2015.

But Yamiche Alcindor wasn’t what I wanted to discuss at all. Rather it was her article on a topic of which she is intimately familiar: affirmative action.

A coalition of Asian-American groups filed a federal complaint against Harvard University on Friday alleging the school engaged in “systemic and continuous discrimination” against Asian Americans during its admissions process.

More than 60 Chinese, Indian, Korean and Pakistani groups came together for the complaint, which was filed with the civil rights offices at the justice and education departments. They are calling for an investigation into Harvard and other Ivy League institutions that they say should stop using racial quotas or racial balancing in admission.

The coalition includes the Chinese-American Association of Orange County, in California; the Global Organization of People of Indian Origin, in New York; and the Pakistani Policy Institute, also in New York, Zhao told the network.

You know one thing the Chinese American Association, People of Indian Origin, and Paki Policy Institute simply will not countenance is racism. Though perhaps the most clever means to evade anti-asian discrimination would be to remain in Asia. Though I understand that is a complex maneuver, and people like their advice simple. So here it is: either purchase your own media outlets and politicians or start leveling cities until the gibs fall like rain. Universalist appeals don’t find much purchase with modern Ivy League Administrators. Let me offer an example.

Robert Iuliano, Harvard University General Counsel, said in a statement that the university uses a “holistic admissions process” that is “fully compliant with federal law” to build a diverse class. He added that over the past decade the percentage of Asian American students admitted to Harvard College has increased from 17.6% to 21%.

“We will vigorously defend the right of Harvard, and other universities, to continue to seek the educational benefits that come from a class that is diverse on multiple dimensions,” Iuliano said.

In other words, “You can keep ‘ching chonging’ until that sedge hat reaches escape velocity with you still beneath it. But we won’t be turning Harvard into a rice paddy until every last Weinstein is working at Goldman.”

Yet, Yukong Zhao, a 52-year-old Chinese-American author who helped organize the coalition, told The Wall Street Journal that there are longtime stereotypes of Asian applicants’ being “not creative enough or risk-taking enough, but that’s not true.”

Damn right it’s not true. Just look at that entrepreneurial spirit on display in the Chinese birth tourism industry. It’s inspirational really.

Meanwhile, other Asian-American groups and officials have released statements supporting affirmative action, including two members of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights.

“Neither of us believes that any racial or ethnic group should be subjected to quotas,” commissioners Michael Yaki and Karen Narasaki said. “Nor do we believe that test scores alone entitle anyone to admission at Harvard. Students are more than their test scores and grades.”

They are something much more than test scores and grades. They are social constructs. And being the right one of those makes all the difference. So what cosmic conflagration occurs when Yamiche Alcindor grapples with Yukong Zhao over the corpse of John Harvard?

The title tells it all.

9 thoughts on “Harvard Haitians vs. Asian Voodoo Zombies

  1. “Mup da doo didda po mo hi-yella gub dat tum muhfugen Yamiche Alcindor cof bin dub fitty-cent ho muhfugga,” which translated into White-speak means:

    “‘This country has still a long way to go,’ she adds.”

    “This country” takes feces-flinging third-worlders, gives them tax money from the productive, nurses them with grievance studies, puts them in positions that they could never attain on their own, sets aside quotas in education and workplaces, and Ms. Alcindor complains about “this country” having a long way to go.

  2. “What’s that word ‘diversity’ mean anyway?”
    It simply means not white.

    For students of that exotic branch of theoretical physics called “African American studies” (quantum ebonics?), this is the formula to calculate the diversity percentage of any group:
    D = (1 – wp/tp) * 100, where wp is the number of white population and tp is the total population.
    A few examples for applying the formula, so the students of african american studies can pass their ‘applied differential oppression theory’ exams.
    1. There are only whites in a group of 50. wp = 50, tp = 50, so D = (1 – 50/50) * 100 = 0. This group has an awful 0% diversity percentage.
    2. There are 30 whites in a group of 100. wp = 30, tp = 100, so D = (1 – 30/100) * 100 = 70. This group is still awfully undiverse, only 70% diversity.
    3. There are 53,718 whites in Detroit (population 688,701). wp = 53,718, tp = 688,701, so D = (1 – 53718 / 688701) * 100 = 92.2. Detroit is 92.2 % diverse, which is pretty good, but not perfect yet.
    4. Our last example: no whites in an inner city gang of 135. wp = 0, tp = 135, so D = (1 – 0 / 135) * 100 = 100. This gang is a liberal’s wet dream: 100% diversity achieved.

  3. “some American kid who has probably never even attempted to convert his neighbor into a zombie with tetrodotoxin”

    What else are you supposed to do with the parts of the fugu you can’t eat?

  4. Hispaniola – the richest country per capita in the history of the world.

    Haiti – the second poorest country on Earth, on a trajectory downwards. At least it can go no further once it arrives at it’s final destination on the racist-free soil of the Congo.

    Because it’s nothing to do with race, you Naaaaaaaaaaaaaazi! It’s entirely the fault of the capricious gods of latitude and longitude. Fortunately, once the victims of this unfortunate geographical anomaly set foot once more upon Caucasian land, they instantly become high IQ Americans. Phew! Thank god for that! We almost became racists there for a moment!

    Anyway, upon returning from my pilgrimage to Kinshasa, I was blessed with observing the miracle of transgenetification before my very eyes. The illiterate, innumerate, pre-stone age Congoid traveling next to me, soaked in the blood of his most recent fistula victim, first of all glowed from the aura of Mandelan noble savagery conferred upon it from the Sanain heights of Jewish media conglomerates, only to then be transformed into a Spaniard, then a Portuguese, and then a Frank as we flew over European territory! A miracle! Then, I observed – in appropriate holy awe – as the noble being was finally transformed into a Briton as we made our final descent into… madness.

  5. It is a source of great pride that every single day people type “Yamiche Alcindor” into a search field and arrive at this article. I think this piece probably serves as the Internet’s singularly authoritative source for information on this fascinating affirmative action Haitian descendant.

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