Africa’s starving children need your help today!
I suppose that will be the furtive imploration of Earth’s four remaining white liberals to their six conservative counterparts in the 24th century. This appeal occurring within the rank depths of their sunless shared guano-cavern. A habitat made necessary after every square inch of topside real estate becomes occupied by a hungry African refugee fleeing hardship and warTM.
Hungry Africans. One imagines they must be our most coveted consumer good, given their feverish rate of manufacture. In 1950 there were only 229 million hungry Africans just looking for a better life. But that was a supply insufficient to meet Western moral demand. And so we began to accelerate production via charity pallets. As crumbs on an anthill, the process was predictably successful. And in 1960 there were 285 million better life seeking Africans. 366 million in 1970 and 478 in 1980. By Y2K 808 million hungry Africans had exited the assembly line. Presently the tally is 1,166,000,000–an increase equivalent to the entire 1970 population in the last 15 years. And that densely pleasurable frottage is just the beginning. Perhaps this graphic will titillate the imagination.
2 billion Africans by 2040
3 billion Africans by 2065
4 billion Africans by 2095
And with nothing but the magic of linear extrapolation, we reach a trillion gaping mouths at the approximate moment Patrick Leahy leaves the Senate.
Of course none of it will ever happen. The West will either brusquely detach the protein tube in a violent spasm of waking from its spiritual necrosis, or it will simply succumb to a replacement population. This being one (even if African) wholly incapable of sustaining the fetid mosh pit to its south, and wholly uninterested were it otherwise. And through whatever combination of war, pestilence, or privation Africans will perish in figures barely conceivable. This will be much to the bemusement of Chinese curators, as absolutely all of it was easily foreseeable and preventable. Though Sally Struthers had streaked cheeks and liberals were in the customary throes of pretension. So Africa was blithely provisioned in ludicrous excess to its native sustainable capacity. Thus we have the first thin laps of what will come to be waves of Saints breaking on the West.
Though surely the Technology CEO council can harness this trend to further THECONOMY. For it’s not mere chance that the word “electricity” was coined some 300+ years ago. We can expect in a similar interval hence that Zuckerberg’s cryogenic head will reside in an orbital gated community powered exclusively by “Afrotricity.” This being the power source derived from captured friction of a trillion black bodies in close proximity. It’s got all the NASA boys talking.
But before that exciting advancement, I’m almost tempted to pose a #QuestionNOTasked. How many is enough? How many more billion hungry Africans are we obliged to create? At what node on the population arc do we concede the madness of our moral vanity? If there is not one, will we strive for the fabled trillion to our children’s final ragged breath?
There are going to be answers. And they will come sooner than liberals imagine.