A Trillion Africans by 2350

Africa’s starving children need your help today!

I suppose that will be the furtive imploration of Earth’s four remaining white liberals to their six conservative counterparts in the 24th century. This appeal occurring within the rank depths of their sunless shared guano-cavern. A habitat made necessary after every square inch of topside real estate becomes occupied by a hungry African refugee fleeing hardship and warTM.

Hungry Africans. One imagines they must be our most coveted consumer good, given their feverish rate of manufacture. In 1950 there were only 229 million hungry Africans just looking for a better life. But that was a supply insufficient to meet Western moral demand. And so we began to accelerate production via charity pallets. As crumbs on an anthill, the process was predictably successful. And in 1960 there were 285 million better life seeking Africans. 366 million in 1970 and 478 in 1980. By Y2K 808 million hungry Africans had exited the assembly line. Presently the tally is 1,166,000,000–an increase equivalent to the entire 1970 population in the last 15 years. And that densely pleasurable frottage is just the beginning. Perhaps this graphic will titillate the imagination.


2 billion Africans by 2040
3 billion Africans by 2065
4 billion Africans by 2095

And with nothing but the magic of linear extrapolation, we reach a trillion gaping mouths at the approximate moment Patrick Leahy leaves the Senate.

Of course none of it will ever happen. The West will either brusquely detach the protein tube in a violent spasm of waking from its spiritual necrosis, or it will simply succumb to a replacement population. This being one (even if African) wholly incapable of sustaining the fetid mosh pit to its south, and wholly uninterested were it otherwise. And through whatever combination of war, pestilence, or privation Africans will perish in figures barely conceivable. This will be much to the bemusement of Chinese curators, as absolutely all of it was easily foreseeable and preventable. Though Sally Struthers had streaked cheeks and liberals were in the customary throes of pretension. So Africa was blithely provisioned in ludicrous excess to its native sustainable capacity. Thus we have the first thin laps of what will come to be waves of Saints breaking on the West.

Though surely the Technology CEO council can harness this trend to further THECONOMY. For it’s not mere chance that the word “electricity” was coined some 300+ years ago. We can expect in a similar interval hence that Zuckerberg’s cryogenic head will reside in an orbital gated community powered exclusively by “Afrotricity.” This being the power source derived from captured friction of a trillion black bodies in close proximity. It’s got all the NASA boys talking.

But before that exciting advancement, I’m almost tempted to pose a #QuestionNOTasked. How many is enough? How many more billion hungry Africans are we obliged to create? At what node on the population arc do we concede the madness of our moral vanity? If there is not one, will we strive for the fabled trillion to our children’s final ragged breath?

There are going to be answers. And they will come sooner than liberals imagine.


21 thoughts on “A Trillion Africans by 2350

  1. Of all the different shades of liberal, the environmentalist must be the most hypocritical. None of them dare say a word about the impact of this exploding biomass on the other flora and fauna that share the continent, not to mention the environmental impact of their swarming into Europe.

  2. A white South African friend of mine once told me with much sincerity, “Africa is a disease that infects everything she touches.”

  3. Human minds are unfortunately not wired to comprehend scale. It was a tragedy of English construction that the terms for “million,” “billion,” and “trillion” are so phonetically similar. As they represent radically different concepts. Consider this: from today until August 13th of this year Africa will add the population of Portugal. How many comprehend the enormity of this phenomenon?

    And in the face of this swelling eggsac what do Westerners wring their hands about?


  4. History repeats itself, first as tragedy…

    Neanderthals lived in Europe for about 200,000 years, surviving multiple ice ages and close contact with all kinds of ferocious fauna, yet they all died out in a 5,000 year period about 40,000 years ago.

    Why? Because an African species, Homo sapiens, invaded their territory, interbred with them, and eventually exterminated them all. This despite Neanderthals being bigger-brained and physically stronger than Homo sapiens, not to mention being cold-adapted to the harsh climate.

    There is some new speculation that Homo sapiens bred wolves into domesticated dogs, and together these two apex predators killed off the Neanderthals. But however it happened, it’s clear that African invaders wiped out the indigenous European hominids.

    Second as farce…

    Now the bigger brained Europeans are facing another invasion by the relatively dim-witted Africans, except this time they are willing their own future extinction by inviting the Africans in by the millions.

    Unlike the Homo sapiens of yore, today’s Africans don’t seem to have any secret weapons, like dogs, with which to attack the native Europeans. Except possibly ‘muh dick’, which they seem to be effectively using to breed the Euros out of existence.

    Thousands of years from now, future archaeologists in Europe will unearth a pristine Caucasian skull and wonder, WTF happened to these people? Is it the inexorable fate of superior Europeans to be continually wiped out by inferior Africans?

    Genocide me once, shame on you.
    Genocide me twice, shame on me.


    • Great comment. I was once assured by a particularly unimaginative liberal that the entire concept of white extinction was ridiculous because our genes would persist among whatever population of humans remained. I told him that thought must be quite comforting to all the Neanderthals we would bump into that day.

  5. I have zero doubt that one trillion is possible.

    Nothing–not even AIDS–can dissuade Africans from raw dogging it.

  6. I thought up another rotating banner pic: Sally Struthers’ quavering mug from her Christian Relief days, superimposed on the population chart above.

  7. For emphasis:

    Since the 70s, Africa’s food imports have grown by 3.4% a year, exceeding their annual population growth of 2.6%. Why can’t we just let these people live as primitive farmers and herders? Those methods can’t support nearly as high a population, but we insist on pushing them along a path of development to which they are obviously not suited.

    • To supplement from US Food Aid

      100 million metric tons of American food aid has been provided through the Food for Peace Program, which was signed into law on July 10, 1954. “Food for Peace assures U.S. leadership in the battle against hunger, promotes peace and prosperity, and has saved and improved more than 3 billion lives.”

      Well thank God we’ve nearly conquered American hunger via food shipments to Africa. Pretty clever, eh little chum? Our victory laurels will feature four billion Africans clamoring to call our children racist.

      It’s called peace and prosperity, bigots.

      Exactly. In the midst of all the misery to come, just remember it’s Peace and Prosperity.

      Liberals: Standing athwart Africa yelling “Breed!”

      • “Exactly. In the midst of all the misery to come, just remember it’s Peace and Prosperity.”

        C.S. Lewis used to talk about the distinctly modern evil of feeling more charitable towards distant strangers than people you’re related to. When we care more about strangers than our own, Lewis said, we’re taking the easy way out. It’s far easier to write a check to feed starving children a world away than it is to be kind and charitable to your own family, friends and neighbors. Consider the phenomenon of people who don’t even know their neighbors’ names but have strong opinions on third-world suffering. It’s madness.

        But then again, C.S. Lewis is a dead white guy who felt proud to be English (RACIST!), noticed that men and women were happier being men and women than interchangeable corporate cogs (SEXIST!), and would, one suspects, find the concept of allowing sexual predators to look after one’s children repellent (HOMOPHOBIC!). So what does he really know?

  8. The Africans may overrun Europe, but they won’t get much farther. The Chinese don’t give a shit about Africans, and neither do the Mexicans (who will be running things in the U.S. by the time Africa peaks). When this country gets a Hispanic majority and president, the immigration walls will go us so fast it will make your head spin, and the foreign aid budget will be cut to zero. When whites quit running the world, the white guilt gravy train is over. You have to wonder how many minorities ranting about “white privilege” have considered the implications of that…

    • You have to wonder how many minorities ranting about “white privilege” have considered the implications of that…

      That number is extraordinarily small. And not just in context of the question. From my infrequent safaris into the Internet’s black comment zones, there is a sense not of foreboding but glee. The physical manifestations of white charity leave no lingering impression on the black mind. They truly, actually believe that whites hold down and oppress them. Our extirpation is thus cause for joyous anticipation. Food comes from grocery stores and is paid for by EBT cards, not whites. Have you not eyes to see?

      In fact if whites didn’t so jealously guard blacks’ rightful wealth, they’d all be driving Ferraris right now. Sweet reason does not find purchase in this arid soil.

      • “Sweet reason does not find purchase in this arid soil.”

        I can’t remember who it was, but someone over at MPC pointed out that one of the major causes for white liberal *sympathy* for blacks is the white liberal inability to *empathize* with blacks. Because a nice white liberal can’t imagine why someone would drive around on 4 spare tires, punch someone in the face for no reason, reach for a policeman’s gun, lie compulsively (recall the eye-witness testimony in the Michael Brown case), etc., they make up alternative stories, ones that a white person can relate to.

        And white people, being the law-abiding squares we are, can only imagine scenarios in which we are minding our own business, helping an old lady cross the street (definitely NOT polar bear hunting), when the BIG BAD REDNECK COP decides to pick on us for no good reason.

        If white liberals could empathize with blacks, of course, they’d realize that, as co-discoverer of DNA and noted Hitler-lover James Watson pointed out, that the indifferent universe did not sprinkle magic reason dust on all the races just because self-loathing pale-faces 70 thousand years later wish it were so.

        The irony of all this, then, is that RACISTS!!! don’t sympathize with blacks because they are able to empathize with them (the horror!), while liberals sympathize with blacks because, being completely stuck inside their own heads, they are unable to empathize with them – they can only project fairy tales onto them.

      • That’s an interesting hypothesis. I sometimes wish I had ready access to a liberal (tempered with Ritalin) who could clarify these perspectives with some equanimity. This rather than having to suffer the obgligatory fusillade of ism accusations before even finishing the question.

        I’m obviously uninterested in their worldview, though developing an efficient process for unwinding it would probably net me an armload of BET awards.

  9. If the time and inclination emerge,I may post a series of excerpts from Paul Theroux’s The Last Train to Zona Verde. Coming from a liberal, it’s quite a concession to the utter hopelessness and horror of modern Africa. The farmers and herders are largely gone. Replaced by a plague of urbanized orifices.

    • If it’s anything close to the utter hopelessness and horror of visiting my neighborhood CVS, consider me a rapt pupil

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