Don’t Let This One Time Offer Slide Away

Even within the existential struggle for the West, decorum still presides. For example, it’s hardly presumptuous for indigenous Europeans to expect at least some modest expenditure of effort in the crafting of their enemy’s propaganda. When dispossessing a people of their ancient lands, convention demands no less. Though even in this the left operates in bad faith. For the quality of their pro-migration paeans has deteriorated to such an extent I’m now fairly certain that they’re not even being written by people at all. Instead auto-generating spambots appear to have assumed the full workload.

We’ve ridiculed pro-immigration pap many times previously in these pages. Though always with the satisfaction of knowing a vaguely humanish being was the author. So there is little martial glory in dispatching the output of machines. Though I’ll concede their crude AI prototype does produce some comical boilerplate. The referenced (below) piece was found in the Guardian, and upon reading I began to muse at the possibility of mimicking the immigration spambot so as to perhaps secure a column in a liberal daily as a clandestine living creature. So this is the spam Turing test I will submit to every newspaper editor as a writing sample.

Dear Friend , Thank you for your interest in our products. If you no longer wish to receive these valuable messages simply reply with a Subject: of “REMOVE” and you will immediately be enrolled in our club . This mail is the legitimate business proposal and sent with full compliance of Senate bill 1627 ; Title 6 , Section 12.

Why work for somebody else when you can become rich in as few as 6 to 12 days . Have you ever noticed why more people than ever are surfing the web and earning big money at home ! Well, now is you’re chance to capitalize on this ! WE will help YOU deliver goods right to the customer’s doorstep plus sell more ! The best thing about our system is that it is absolutely risk free . But don’t just believe what you read ? Beauregard Simpson of Spring Hills Florida tried us and says “Now I’m rich, Rich, RICH” . This offer is 100% (percent) legal in Puerto Rico and comes with a full money guarantee or your satisfaction back ! Sign up a friend and get an coupon book full of great discounts on all our products . Call within the next hour and recieve this ginsu knife for 29$ value . CALL NOW

Whether or not that sample succeeds, it is almost indistinguishable from this one.

More Immigration…That’s What the UK Needs

Immigrants are standing by for your call !

Vital questions of migration and border management have descended to the level of partisan squabbling and short-term fixes based on arbitrary numerical targets. This is counterproductive: it will undermine the growth and dynamism of the British economy and current policies such as caps on migrants will fail both to control population dynamics and to promote British jobs and economic growth.

Caps on the number of migrants (like zero, for instance) can’t possibly control the population of migrants. Understand?  But if caps can’t control the migrant population, then The Economy must be safe from the malign effects of caps.  But the spambot says no.  Which leads me to suspect it is programmed to reject immigration restriction no matter its effects.

Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations ! Our contradictory counterintuitive assertions are made by hand !

A recent study by the Centre for Research and Analysis of Migration at University College London indicates that migrants added £20bn to the UK economy in the decade 2001 to 2011 and that migrants from the EU paid significantly more in taxes than they claimed in benefits or transfers for education, health or other expenditures. This is entirely consistent with previous studies, all of which have shown that the benefits of immigration outweigh its costs.

A spambot says the benefits of immigration outweigh the costs. Netanyahu’s 180 IQ says they do not. But to add some color commentary to the 20 billion figure cited above, I’ll invite readers to peruse the actual source paper where it states on table 6, page 26, that from 1995-2011 European immis have benefited The Economy by £4b while non European immis have cost it £118b. That’s negative. And that’s why I’m starting to understand why aliyah ain’t for everyone.

Indeed, there is no reputable evidence for the oft-cited fears that immigrants undermine job prospects or reduce wages, either for the UK or any other major economy.

Supply and demand apply to the labor market no more than evolution applies above the neck, you fundies. Stop living in superstition.

We ship chocolate covered ice cream nuggets directly to your couch ! The Center for Advanced Insulin Resistance has said no credible evidence exists that binging on bonbons impacts your mortuary or . Any other major funeral home !

The economic impact of immigration to the US has been studied in the greatest depth and shows that the dynamism provided by migrants is vital for growth and competitiveness.

I’ll say this again: the nominal world economy is 78 trillion U.S. dollars. The U.S. economy is 18 trillion dollars. So if all seven+ billion of the world’s pre-Americans alighted here, then the…what was it? Yes, the dynamism provided by migrants would increase the American Economy by over 400%. Succulent growth. Your task, dear spambot, is to regard the natives with a straight CPU and explain how life for them just improved. And promptly that explanation arrives…

This in part is because immigrants tend to be “exceptional people” who strive to overcome adversity. The diversity they bring serves as a catalyst that spurs creativity and performance. This is as true in business as it is in academia, medicine, science, politics, arts, food, culture, entertainment and sports.

I suppose there’s little cause to complain about a surfeit of “exceptional people.” I mean the DR Congo has 67 million of them. And Finland, for instance, only three. Just compare what each has produced in science and medicine if not convinced.

migrants and refugees are disproportionately represented in the Academy award and Nobel prize winners. Unskilled migrants meanwhile do jobs local workers will not do, such as arduous agricultural labour. By providing affordable child minding they allow a greater share of women to participate in the workforce.

Disproportionate academy award winners? I don’t what that means but it’s surely enough to warrant opening my home to a dozen Honduran squatters. And I’m thinking of a number. That number is the sum total of Nobel Prize winners from Central America who have perforated our border in the past year. Yes, here that number is: zero.

And still the spambots with that hoary Jobs Americans won’t do cliche. I’m honestly surprised that one evaded the Email filter. Let’s conclude and press “send.”

Immigration is too important to be crushed under the weight of populist politics. For those concerned with the future of British jobs and the British economy, it is time to turn down the rhetoric and turn to what we like to think of as the British traits of fairness and reason. Whether the United Kingdom is able to meet the challenges of the coming decades will depend to a significant extent on its immigration policies. Migrants historically have made an essential contribution to Britain’s achievements and there is no reason to believe that their future contribution will be any less significant.

Our getting rich, Rich, RICH is too important to be crushed by the hopes of the hoi polloi. Time to turn the rhetoric down and the spambots up. The point of that spam being that a Jamiacan immigrant is the exact same thing as a German one if they both moved from one place to another. They become simply indistinguishable at that moment. Just as those parties in your house are interchangeable occupants and not the “family” social construct you imagine. Because in truth haven’t the occupants of your home historically brought you many fond occasions? Haven’t your home’s occupants been critical to its collective happiness and prosperity? Wouldn’t your home not even exist without the contributions of its occupants? And so more occupants in your home would be an unalloyed good. QE fucking D.

But the best part of are legitimate immigranting product is that its risk free ! Full money or your satisfaction back !


4 thoughts on “Don’t Let This One Time Offer Slide Away

  1. Pingback: This Week in Reaction (2015/03/27) | The Reactivity Place

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