With tongue extracted from cheek, I will assert that prioritization is one of modernity’s most fundamental and least comprehended concepts. Not that it isn’t readily absorbed intellectually, even by those only modestly burdened by intellect; but that it is so rarely deployed in practice. From a societal perspective there is no acknowledgement of limiting constraints or the need to triage finite resources. Have you ever heard a federal official say something to the effect of Well we’d like to bomb Iraq into an elemental slurry while commencing a land invasion of China. But we also want to import the populations of several satellite continents and subsidize their further multiplicative fecundity. But we don’t have the means to do both. The answer is, no you have not. And that is because we no longer produce the kind of thoughtful statesmen who would ever ask themselves, much less the public, to prioritize finite resources. If you want this, you don’t get that.
Instead we profligately shriek at every bigot as if oppression just grows on trees. So consider this a companion piece to the dreary sententious flailing on display at the University of Oklahoma, where meticulously cultivated learning environments were fouled by Raps on a Bus. Because it’s actually worse in San Francisco. Where even crime finds no refuge from hate.
Four San Francisco policemen remain at-large after being caught texting uncomplimentary sentiments about privileged classes on private phones. We’re going to have a problem here.
Bigoted texts ‘disgraced’ SFPD, chief says, vowing rapid action
Bigoted texts. Much like Hate-filled eggs, I imagine. But how does one retain even trace vestiges of dignity when obliged to drape this banner across a newspaper for adults? I understand the umbrage if emanating from a spinster’s sowing circle. But this is what drives a stern lawman to purpose? Bigoted texts? For the love of levitating pasta.
The four San Francisco police officers under investigation for sending racist and homophobic text messages have all been on the force for more than a decade, and at least two have faced disciplinary action in the past, The Chronicle has learned.
Prosecutors said the texts are proof that Furminger, 48, is a “virulent” racist and homophobe. They were sent between October 2011 and June 2012 and undermine what they called Furminger’s “fantasy that he is a person of character.”
Investigations and prosecutors. For text messages. That’s careful allocation of limited resources. And I’m sure you noted the helpful psychoanalysis offered by these doughty barristers. See, the repugnant spewer of virulence has fantasies of being a swell guy. But Persons of Character only denigrate whites. And it should not require a busy police chief to explain why.
I have written on this before, though to reiterate readers are advised that this hysteria is far from cresting. Nearly all manias trace an established arc. This one will be no different. And before reaching its holy zenith, many lives will be destroyed. As a matter of oppositional strategy, there’s probably more territory to be gained in hunkering down now and waiting for its ultimately receding wake. This as compared to vainglorious tilting at tidal waves. But just know this: before collapsing under the weight of its own shame and hypocrisy, Raysis is going to trend vertical. And none of us want to reside near the spike.
Though just to clarify the SFPD’s current law enforcement priorities in protecting the citizens of that city…
“This investigation is our No. 1 priority right now,” the chief said.
Enjoy how that lingers on the palate. The number one priority for the entire San Francisco law enforcement apparatus is…SMS messages. The Zodiac Texters. They’ll need a calling symbol with which to taunt the terrorized city. 📱 Every message more malevolent than the last. Grown men barricade themselves in no cell-service basements. Women wail as abundant reception mocks them with malice. Oh God, I’ve got one bar…Now two! Threeeeeeeeeee! The city is marred with the remains of fatal swoons. No unlimited text plans are safe. The messages appear on otherwise innocent iPhones like cacodemons leering up from Hell. The city bleeds as ashen hollow-eyed survivors tremble at the unmistakable trilling from each purse or pocket. For whom does the phone chirp? It chirps for thee.
And feeling the cold fingers of death’s caress, your safe assuredness flees. You feel open and exposed. Hands clammy, eyes darting. It couldn’t happen to you…could it? “It’s just a fucking message,” you try to reason. The thought should loosen the vice on your chest. It doesn’t. And still the goddamned thing chirps. As if from nowhere the phone appears in shaking hands…daring you to swipe. The macabre invitation of the grave. “It’s nothing,” you lie. Just a text from a friend. Agnes or Jermaine. Your vision swims. Time seems to halt with your heart. One finger lost in an eternal trek across the screen. Your teeth grit as the horrifying realization pierces your heart like a stilleto. Finally, fatally, you view the message that will shatter your life in an instant:
Nigg*rs suck 📱
And though your corpse will be badly decomposed upon discovery some months later, your death by text is not entirely in vain. For SFPD Chief Greg Suhr has prioritized apprehension of these barbaric correspondents above all others. Solving this heinous non-crime is the department’s number one priority. And in hopes that it will at least partially assuage the anguish of your demise, we’ll review a few other fugitives that are explicitly lower priorities for the PD. Here’s a list of Northern California’s most wanted criminals. None of which are remotely the threat to public safety as texting policemen, I think you’ll agree.
There are a great many more. Yet, as I hoped to convey throughout this post, the SF police chief is constrained by finite resources. And thus he must prioritize their allocation. Perhaps you believe that the public would be better served by prioritizing murderers over texters. Though you are almost certainly not a 37 year old graduate student, if so. The fact is that these offending police officers personally dealt with criminal blacks and browns on a daily basis for years. And if even such extended intimate contact couldn’t prove to them that race is just a social construct, then they have very little hope of becoming Persons of Character. From the streets these bigoted men learned all the wrong lessons. The first being…
Real-life is a poor teacher of theory.