Heidi Mighty Slighty

Look, sometimes mistakes are made. And no matter how many lanes its spokesmodel consumes walking down the highway, the SPLC is no exception. It can happen to anyone, whether or not they are trailed by an escort vehicle. Sometimes you spend four days binging on bonbons and insulin. Others you call a renowned republican neurosurgeon a hate-filled nazi bigot extremist without even realizing he’s black–and so you can’t do that. But these are innocent slips and what are you gonna do, call someone a racist over it?

Obviously not. You simply apologize for the slight and move on.

The Southern Poverty Law Center has announced they have removed Dr. Ben Carson from their “extremist” file.

In an unsigned statement released on Wednesday, SPLC said, “In October 2014, we posted an ‘Extremist File’ of Dr. Ben Carson. This week, as we’ve come under intense criticism for doing so, we’ve reviewed our profile and have concluded that it did not meet our standards, so we have taken it down and apologize to Dr. Carson for having posted it.”

Perhaps some clarification on those rigorous SPLC standards for extremists: White conservative men. And given that I’d say Uncle Ben was just a bit outside. I wonder if some rhyming reverends can smell the assets?

Though the statement goes on to laud Dr. Carson’s contribution “to medicine, his philanthropic work,” and his “personal story,” they still “believe his views should be closely examined.” SPLC insists, “Dr. Carson has, in fact, made a number of statements that express views that we believe most people would conclude are extreme.”

SPLC lists a number of Carson quotes they charge are extremist, including his comparison of Obamacare to slavery, and that we now “live in a society where people are afraid to say what they believe.”

What could this heretofore black bigot be babbling about? People afraid to say what they believe? Why would that be? Aren’t we all free to candidly discuss and debate national questions without fear of reprisal? What’s someone going to do, try to get you fired? And who would do that, the SPLC? Welcome to Neptune, Spaceboy.

SPLC is a group that had raised hundreds of millions of dollars—they currently have $300 million under financial management

Southern poverty seems to have hardly survived its rich liberals.

Quite famously, an armed man invaded the offices of the Family Research Council with the intention of murdering as many staffers as he could. He ended up wounding a security guard before he was subdued. He later said he got the idea of shooting up FRC from the SPLC hate list.

More recently, the North Carolina shooter who gunned down three Muslim students was a Facebook fan of the Southern Poverty Law Center, at least according to his Facebook page.

Depressingly, it appears the SPLC hate watch is going to require another entry–for themselves. It’s going to be quite an awkward phone call when Heidi dials up Mark Potok with a butcher’s bill of hate intended to relieve herself of employment. Hopefully she’ll simply be terminated rather than terminated, as is apparently the custom of vexed SPLC votaries.

But as Ben Carson just learned, no matter how many times you go to Tajikistan, you can never satisfy the Tajiks.


8 thoughts on “Heidi Mighty Slighty

    • Even though I feel badly for the poor shlub, the vast Ben Garrison troll is probably the most hilarious one I have ever seen. Though it’s telling how quickly this free speech libertarian was to embrace hate prohibitions the moment he felt the weight of a supposedly non-existent boot on his neck.

      • “It took me a few seconds to realize the article was talking about Ben Carson and not Ben Garrison of 4chan fame:”

        That mass-murdering psychopath deserves a spot on SPLC’s HateWatch,as much as I detest the SPLC and as much as I believe in the ideals which he kills for. “Zyklon” Ben Garrison takes it way too far. What is this, his third synagogue bombing this week? Even Adolf Hitler put a stop to that Kristallnacht tomfoolery. The Nazi movement can ill afford a loose cannon like “Zyklon” Ben Garrison going around threatening nuclear annihilation of Israel,beating up faggots, and wantonly murdering jews in more brutal and sadistic fashions than I have ever seen anyone murdered before.

        If he just stuck to his anti-semitic and “racist” cartoons, that would be one thing. I could support that. But all these murders? No way.I’m glad this fake Ben Garrison troll is going around photoshopping his cartoons into pussified libertarian parodies, just to take this mad dog killer down a few pegs.

  1. “Dr. Carson has…IN FACT…made a number of statements that we believe…most people…would conclude are extreme.”

    That’s pretty tight. Stick to the facts. I’m ready to move on.

    But first perhaps I’ll burn my finite energies in explaining this to someone who is predisposed to dismiss it anyway. Then I’ll be labeled, and he’ll dust himself off as though nothing happened.

    What use is logic under these circumstances? I retreat to my own faith; a student quietly preparing for a teacher, synchronicity, the arrival of unimagined force-multipliers. A ghost-dance.

  2. That’s perceptive. It is an indisputable fact, a natural law, that he is an extremist in Heidi’s opinion. A healthy society would dismiss such stool out of hand. It’s unfortunate when we become inured to its presence.

    Though if that’s an appealing scent, readers will find it in abundance at this source.

    I’ve discussed the Raw Story here previously. It’s a crude, low effort, hating whitey click farm. One that attracts a concomitant commentariat. Though the linked article is really a specimen to behold. Penned by a Steven Rosenfeld, it evaluates the recent well-publicized shooter of muslims, who was a militant atheist and facebook fan of the Huffington Post, Rachel Maddow, SPLC, Freedom from Religion Foundation, Bill Nye “The Science Guy,” Neil deGrasse Tyson, and various Gay Marriage groups. From which is logically deduced: Right wing extremist.

    The author further quotes Potok, who feels not a twinge of sheepishness over the shooter’s leftism in general or embrace of his organization specifically. On the contrary, Potok is validated! After all, he was denigrating whites before it was even de rigueur. Though there’s a logical reason why the left needn’t feel compelled toward defensiveness. The shooter wasn’t even a liberal. Here’s why.

    On Thursday, GOPUSA.com…portrayed Hicks as a liberal by reporting his Facebook likes included Rachel Maddow, gay marriage groups, Neil deGrasse Tyson and others. That relabeling is absurd on many levels, because Hicks appears to fit the pyschological profile of violent extremists—regardless of their ideological stripes—and that includes many white Americans.

    See? He’s not a liberal because he’s a violent extremist: QE fucking D.

    The Rosenfelds really aren’t even expending much effort anymore. Though given their obtuse audience, it remains a surplus to necessity.

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