Be as Small as You Can Be

As the Overton Window screams leftward, decapitating heads in the blur, it becomes an ever greater necessity to validate sources before going to print. For discerning between the modern left and its parodic siblings has become a task no longer suited for cursory examination. And thus upon first reading this entry, I suffered (now customary) skepticism that the content wasn’t fictional satire. Though with the corroboration of multiple sources we will proceed as if the article is valid and only this society is a parody.

But first, what would you say are the hallmarks of martial valor? Obviously courage under mortal threat. Also selflessness, ingenuity, and industriousness. Here is an example in the person of Alvin York from one of our garish civilizational fratricides.

Sergeant Alvin York was once described as World War I’s “greatest civilian soldier,” yet he began the conflict as a conscientious objector. A deeply devout man from the small mountain town of Pall Mall, Tennessee, York initially resisted serving on the grounds that violence was against his religion. His request was denied, however, and in May 1918 he arrived in France along with the 82nd Division of the U.S. Army.

York would make his name on October 8, 1918 in a famous incident during the Meuse-Argonne offensive. He and around 17 other Americans had just captured troops from a German regiment when they found themselves under heavy fire from enemy machine guns. Nine of the Americans were quickly wounded or killed, but York—a crack shot from his days as a turkey hunter—escaped unscathed and began picking off the German gunners with his rifle. When six of the enemy tried to charge York with bayonets, he drew his .45 pistol and shot them all. He had soon forced the remaining Germans to surrender, and later claimed even more prisoners on his way back to the American lines. All told, York and his men captured 132 enemy soldiers, and he may have singlehandedly killed 20 German troops. For his efforts, he was awarded the Medal of Honor, the Distinguished Service Cross and several other citations for bravery. Shunning the spotlight, the reluctant soldier returned to his home in Tennessee after the war and took up farming. He later worked to introduce new schools to his mountain community.

Needless to say, Mr. York was a Southern patriarchal bigot and an example of the racist anachronisms the modern U.S. Army is determined to defeat. And in this war against white cishets, the army wields an invincible weapon: stupid bat-earred bimbettes.

Look upon my vacuity...and despair.

Look upon my vacuity…and despair.

Because the countless thousands of men like Alvin York who littered their corpses across battlefields since antiquity were nothing to this Warrior Princess. Meet highly decorated soldierette, Katrina Moerk: the implacable sniper of Internet improprieties.

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel and senior Army officials met with a senior non-commissioned officer Dec 15 to thank her for leading by example and defending Army values, despite facing harassment after confronting Service members who were behaving unethically online.

Please make certain to re-read the passage above on the off-chance you didn’t initially absorb its import. The Secretary of Defense issued a commendation in person for bravery under duress–of Internet comments! In preemptively parodizing themselves we are faced with a military gambit more formidable than blogging satirists have ever encountered.

First Sgt. Katrina Moerk, now the first sergeant of Charlie Company, 741st Military Intelligence Battalion, was browsing a social media network’s community page earlier this year, when she came upon a video that she found offensive and sexist. When she commented as much, several respondents attacked her with insults. Some of these respondents were wearing uniforms in their profile photos, the first sergeant said, so she wrote to them directly.

“I looked them up, introduced myself and explained to them why they were stupid. And I [copied] the director of the Army SHARP program to help their units improve their SHARP training, because it was obviously lacking. And it’s kind of blown up from there,” Moerk said.

SHARP is the acronym for the military’s Sexual Harassment Assault Response and Prevention program.

Machine guns, grenades, bayonets, and facebook videos–HERE’S WHY THAT’S A PROBLEM. Though our heroine crawled through candy wrappers and coke cans under a fusillade of crippling rejoinders in order to patiently explain to them why they were stupid. And yet STILL waves of fanatical hetero-cong emerged from the cobweb to assault her position. Finally, bloody and flanked, she was able to fashion a radio from a butane lighter and bag of beef jerky to call for reinforcements from an elite transvestite rapid reaction force.

Though to summarize in more prosaic terms. She started an off-the-clock comment war and then sniveled to the supervisors of those who rebutted. Audie Murphy is very dead.

This wasn’t the first time Moerk had experienced online harassment, she said, but it was “the first time I’ve put my foot down, and was very adamant about correcting what was wrong with them.”

I wonder if that tiny ganglion within the empty expanse of her skull ever generates sufficient neural output to produce inchoate circumspection. It’s hardly “harassment” when you instigate the conflict. And might there be some that offer their “corrections” to your own dogma? Of course not. That’s hate. And just wait until Ms. Moerk “puts her foot down” in an armed conflict with the Chinese. How many divisions have they got anyway? Answer: 164. Let’s hope they have a low rate of Internet commenting. Otherwise our plucky first sergeant may have to spend the entire war mining Chinese message boards and penning tart tattle-tales to very busy PLA generals.

For her willingness to stand up and defend Army values, Moerk received an Army Commendation Medal from Lt. Gen. James C. McConville, who succeeded Bromberg as the Army’s personnel chief, during a ceremony Monday, at the Pentagon.

“What she did is the epitome of being an NCO and a Soldier
and of course a leader,” said Command Sgt. Maj Leslie Hudson, the 741st Military Intelligence Battalion senior enlisted adviser. “I think that Soldiers out there can learn from the example that she set, and I think that she has set the standard for what leaders are expected to do.”


If the Army is going to really effect change and eliminate these kinds of problems, its organizational culture has to change, said Army Capt. John Larue, Charlie Company commander. “And we need this kind of leadership


“We have a commitment to uphold the dignity and respect of our Service members and provide a safe environment in which every Service member and DOD civilian is free from the threat of sexual harassment.

To help shift the culture, Moerk agreed to speak on camera with a representative from the Center for the Army Profession and Ethic, to serve as a case study for other members of the Army profession.

In her CAPE video, Moerk noted that the Army is putting considerable effort into helping people who have been victimized by unprofessional behavior.

The enormity of how many brave and worthy men have died in advancing this puerile self-rending society is too much to bear. Perhaps Ms. Moerk will rise to defend their fallen honor by working even harder to fire their sons. It’s a case study in modern military leadership.


8 thoughts on “Be as Small as You Can Be

  1. I used to think there was some utility to young men joining the military but now I don’t think so. Weapons and tactics can be learned elsewhere.

  2. I don’t have words for this. I served on subs, with some outstanding men. We did amazing things, all for nothing. What a goddamn joke.

  3. I was in the U.S. Army stationed in Berlin when the Wall came down. I was no great soldier but simply did my small part. I was put in for an ARCOM for my little bit in the SIGINT part of the end of the Cold War, but it was downgraded to an AAM. Instead of a Cold Warrior, I should have been a SJW instead.

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