I stumbled upon the image below recently. See if you are able to discern any carefully veiled subtext. You’ll have to look closely.
Wasn’t that subtle? Certain babies certainly are expensive. Especially when considered in lieu of all the excitement and virtue that may be acquired in their stead. This drove me to reflection. Perhaps I myself shouldn’t perpetuate the familial chain forged and defended by forefathers through the millennia. It may be best (for Indian orphans at the least) to eschew the bonds of loving children and grandchildren behind in favor of the more spiritually satisfying forms of expensive cars and foot-ball tickets. Yes, those are what a man seeks by his side at life’s conclusion. At any rate, I thought the matter at least worthy of additional research. The results of which were illuminating.
Every image below accompanied an article cautioning potential parents on the exorbitant costs of reproduction. There’s a pattern to these images of children too burdensome to bear. Though it lies just beyond the capacity to perceive.
There are many more, but I’m already soured on the prospect of parenthood. It sounds like children are such an expense. And who’s going to pay for those schools in Haiti if not me?
Are there perhaps any social construct models that are cheaper to rear?
Thank goodness. How much do those children cost?
Wow, that sounds like a real bargain. What oppressive people would be so callous as to cultivate their own exorbitant offspring, when the world already brims with those more needy and economic? It’s an easy call, frankly.
Though these are the type of helpful and well-intentioned comparisons that would greatly aid in the formulation of public policy. For instance, the Heritage Foundation’s Robert Rector estimates that Obama’s immigrants will cost American taxpayers two trillion dollars.
And while we benefit enormously from dilution and dispossession, it’s a valid exercise to consider what other baubles or revelry we might enjoy as alternatives. For two trillion dollars, America could do any of the following…
* Carpool 10 million new Ferraris
* Set up 158 million African villages with clean water wells
* Build over 58 million new schools in Haiti
* Purchase livestock for 398 million communities in third world countries
* Provide nearly three billion micro finance loans to people around the globe
* Take 75 million trips around the world
* Buy over eight million average American homes with cash
* Earn your MBA 25 million times without taking out loans
* Shoot and direct 199 million films
* Hire Anna Kendrick (whoever she is) for 33 million of your birthdays
* Breed and train 66 million horses to compete in the Kentucky derby
* Buy over eight million private tropical islands
* Attend 664 million Super Bowls
* Buy a round for the bar 10 billion times
* Rescue and treat eight billion puppy mill dogs
* Open 66 million orphanages in India
* Provide surgery for eight billion children with cleft palates
* Climb Mt. Everest 58 million times with a friend
I have to concede, these lists have convinced me. I knew we received a great benefit from immigration–the particulars are a bit hazy–but I had no idea we could have any of these instead.
Drinks at Everest are on me!