Feminism for Success

I visited the blog of new commenter dastardlyrake, and found a sex tutorial video there that I found instructive. Instructive in that applying its techniques will guarantee male pupils that their DNA will find no vessel in the next generation.

Watch and do not learn as a couple of tatted hippy dips excruciatingly proceed through a battery of call/response consent decrees. May I touch? Only yourself after this episode, Poindexter.

May I lay a hand upon your knee?

You may not actually.
You may not lay a hand upon my knee.

Could I touch you here or there?

You may not touch me here or there,
You may not touch me anywhere.

Could I touch you beneath that clock?
Might you grasp my mighty frock?

You may not touch me beneath a clock,
And I wont dare touch your mighty frock.

You will like it, please just try.
You will like it, hand on thigh?

I would not, could not part my thighs,
Not even once, it wouldn’t be wise.

On the bar?

I would not could not on the bar!

Would you, could you in a car?

I could not, would not in a car.
I can not, will not on a bar.
I will not on the patio,
I will not perform fellat-i-o.
Not in a bed, not on a boat,
Not on a sled, and no deep throat.
You may not kiss me on the lips,
You may not firmly grasp my hips.

Though you have been quite polite to ask,
And so you may indeed perform a task.
Tonight I have a date, whose name is Bill,
He doesn’t ask and I need the pill.
My pharmacy is really near,
Could you, would you be a dear?


9 thoughts on “Feminism for Success

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