Global Chutzpah Advocacy

It seems that sheer gall is migrating south in a corresponding tsunami to the human version that preceded it heading opposite. And why not? It has proven well effective north of the muddy creek. The task is to make demands so detached from decorum and reality that the gringo/gentiles simply swoon in a biological blue screen.

I must admit, the Amerinds are quick studies at this. For after having already disgorged huge globules of excess population into America, they apologize for the impertinence in a manner appreciated by any self-respecting Goodfellas: Oh, you’re already subsidizing millions of our citizens illegally in your country? Fuck you, pay us.

Honduras President Juan Hernandez wants the United States to invest billions of dollars to help curb the flow of illegal migrants from Central America, and said it will take much longer to stem the crisis without Washington’s help.

“If we have to do it alone, it will take us more time. But if we can do it together, it can be quicker and better for everyone,” he told Reuters in an interview on Wednesday.

Hernandez was in Washington for an InterAmerican Development Bank meeting with his counterparts from Guatemala and El Salvador as well as U.S. Vice President Joe Biden on ways to overcome violence and poverty largely fueling the exodus from their countries.

Struggling to stop the flow, Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador presented U.S. officials with an ambitious development plan in September to improve their economies through infrastructure investments.

Guatemala has said it is seeking $10 billion – some $2 billion a year for five years – toward the effort, chiefly from the United States.

Honduras would like that much or more, Hernandez said.

“It could be ($2 billion a year), it could be a little more,” he told Reuters, speaking in Spanish. But U.S. officials have not said how much they will invest, he added.

Hernandez also said the migration crisis is a humanitarian issue, and Washington shares responsibility because of U.S. demand for drugs trafficked through Central America.

He argued that investing to improve the Honduran economy made more sense than spending huge amounts on a futile effort to seal the land border with Mexico. [Futile!]

Hernandez will promote the investment plan to Democratic and Republican lawmakers this week, but it could be a tough sell. Immigration is a hot-button issue in the U.S. Congress, where many Republicans insist Washington should focus mainly on excluding undocumented newcomers.

How is it possible to remain still uninured to this brass horseshit? I marvel at my own continuing lack of acculturation. Honduras callously dispatches its own children (whom we are of course expected to swaddle indulgently as our own) in a wave formation north. And rather than apology, sheepishness, or simple stony silence, they actually demand dineros.

And how many of our fleeced tax dollars would you like, Mr. Hernandez?

It could be two billion a year, it could be more. The first lady does like her shoes and yachts–though not together of course.

That’s true. Nothing like the feel of 10,000 sq ft. of yacht under bare foot. Though we have a counter offer: We don’t pay you a cent. And if you despise your own people enough to shuffle them off into the desert, we’ll assuage their discomfort with mariachi music outside the base of our walls. There they’ll be joined by millions of deported countrymen. All of whom may return to Honduras at their convenience and your expense. Deal?

Though before concluding that mutually pleasant arrangement, there is the issue of Medicaid costs to address.

Immigrants and their U.S.-born children make up more than 40 percent of new Medicaid recipients at a cost of $4.6 billion, according to an analysis of government data.

Obviously, Mr. Hernandez, you realize that American taxpayers aren’t just going to pony up the medical tab for your itinerant Central American squatters. Now plainly not all of the $4.6 billion has been spent on Honduran nationals. Though the point is it is you who owes us. And one way or another, you’ll pay the bill.

Ummm, well how much do you Americans want from me?

Oh, it could be two billion a year. It could be more.

4 thoughts on “Global Chutzpah Advocacy

  1. Some may see immigration as a problem. Hernandez sees it as it an opportunity for protection money – money that’ll protect America from nothing, of course, as the invaders will keep coming. To the Amerind, the gringo must seem a person of almost surreal gullibility, an expectation that’s rarely disappointed.

  2. Someone should run over to the White House to explain all the flaws in this scheme. I hear the female Secret Service officers will expedite access for those in a hurry.

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