Diversion is the Intellect at Play

Whether right, wrong, good, or wicked, no one reading or commenting at a site like this is a conformist. Here the zeitgeist finds no refuge in its pieties we flout. Though as man is a schooling creature, how many here ever glance up occasionally to note how vast the gulf from the other fish? I suppose the realization could trigger equal measures of humor and horror. Though after reading what follows, I still don’t know which is the more appropriate response.

Have you ever heard of a woman named Kim Kardashian? There’s little reason one would have, though she is a daughter of the late Robert Kardashian, who served as legal counsel for an ex foot-ball player following the latter’s rather abrupt divorce proceeding. Ms. Kardashian (who retained her maiden name subsequent to the most recent of her marriages) is now quite famous in her own right, apparently for being a vapid whore. Which is strange since this is one of the few areas where America has retained its manufacturing prowess. Though even in the midst of great quantity, quality is still recognized.

And so in those few moments when her empty gaze hasn’t been reflected in a discotheque of flashbulbs, she has applied her formidable endowments to…video game design? Yes morons, she designs video games…or conceives them…or has seen one once…or maybe just cashes checks from people who write her name on the cover…something at least.

But really, how much could a Kim Kardashian video game actually make? Probably no more than $700,000 a day.

Kim Kardashian is famous for doing nothing. Now she’s got a game that’s pulling in $700,000 a day where players have to do, well, nothing.

“Kim Kardashian: Hollywood” from Glu Mobile lets you create an avatar that can work to achieve virtual A-list status. Your mission: hob-nobbing with celebrities, going to a photo shoot and wearing expensive clothes.

The game is free to download, but players spend real money on things like virtual clothes, virtual hairstyles and energy boosts for their avatars. The more your avatar does, the faster you can move up the ranks from the E List to the A List — the objective of the game.

If sales continue at their current rate, the game will gross $200 million in its first year, according to Doug Creutz, an analyst at Cowen and Company. That would put “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood” in the big leagues with smash-hit mobile games such as Candy Crush.

Creutz estimates there are only about seven other apps in the world that are pulling in more money right now. And Kardashian’s is one of the top five most downloaded apps in Apple’s store.

“I don’t even know what genre to call it, but people are taken with it,” he said.
Shares of game maker Glu Mobile (GLUU) have soared more than 30% since the app launched in late June. Nicollo de Masi, Glu’s CEO, credited the game’s “exceptional early performance” with boosting the company’s second-quarter results. He said the game has broken Glu’s single-day revenue record.

It’s impossible to know if “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood” will maintain its current growth, Creutz said. Adding new characters and levels to the game — hello Kourtney and Khloe! — could keep more people playing longer.

That’s quite interesting. I won’t say by how much, but this blog grosses substantially less than $700,000/day. Though thusly inspired we’re considering a for-pay salon and boutique to add some much needed icon haute couture for those commenters who covet A-list status here. In contrast, unfounded assertions, weak quips, and a slovenly gravitar will get your comment wait-listed fast, friend.

So when you periodically succumb to banal thoughts of nation and state. Look instead upon the more robust diversions of America…and despair.

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2 thoughts on “Diversion is the Intellect at Play

  1. I’m still shocked. Somehow. We are clearly way too prosperous. I guess it will go on until the automatic food dispensers run out of protein paste.

    Over at my place, I just found out goodmenproject.com really does exist. Had no idea.

  2. There is a quirky internet-only rumor about Kim Kardashian that she was part of a high-end escort service around age 16, along with Paris Hilton (another celebrity debutante). The idea is that there was a closed clientele list, restricted to “mid-to high level studio executives.” The price was not exceptionally high ($1500/night) but enrollment was necessary for career advancement in the field of… being a famous whore. Paris got her kickstart by fucking and blowing one of these “mid level studio executives” on film, whereas Kim turned to “mid-level studio executives” to market and distribute her romp with a field negro.

    Anyway, neither the Kardashian/Jenner nor the Hilton estates were in any danger of going under, so I’m inclined to think there’s a some bizarre pay-to-play toll enforced by the in-breds who run Hollywood. Is it worth whoring out your teen daughter as membership dues? Maybe it wasn’t the parents’ choice to make.

    All conjecture of course, like Barack Obama’s homosexuality.

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