America Humbled by YOLO

Everyone knows that America has become a rich tapestry. Rich in the myriad and manifold ways that idiocy now finds expression. This tapestry is woven daily in manners large and small. For sake of completeness, we’ll mention both. In regard to the latter, have you noticed the new fashion for subjects of public adulation to remark on how “humbled” they are by spectacle? It’s almost become as ubiquitous as the more passe “Thank You.” Yet they aren’t actually humbled, are they? Because that isn’t exactly the sensation one feels at being cheered and adored by throngs of slavish votaries. No, humbled would be waking up hung-over in the gutter with your wallet empty except for the phone number of a transvestite prostitute. I suppose the more honestly felt I am a God! would reflect poorly in the morning newspaper. So “humbled” it is. Though because its usage has become an inversion of reality, we can expect it to proliferate in the soup of western society. Before long PUAs will be penning blog posts like Just banged this super-hot, hard-body 9.5 last night. God it was humbling!

I think a similar formulation is the YOLO acronym which has become quite popular with the youths of all ages. You Only Live Once. It seems this has become a customary invocation before engaging in high risk activities. Should I consume a liter of vodka before driving 150mph down the wrong side of a highway? Why not? YOLO! Surely the rhetorical flaw in this philosophy is readily apparent. Because observing that one is burdened with only one available life is a cautionary statement, not a justification for recklessness. If you have only one, then YOLO! would suggest you treat it carefully. In contrast, living lots of lives (YOLL!) would offer greater latitude in justifying the type of behavior for which American youths have become renowned. Though as mentioned, this is a stupidity ideal for our age.

And as rhetorical gibberish exists on one flank of the moron bell curve, a possible Ebola epidemic in America does on the other. Strangely enough, there’s a predictable symmetry in the two.

Ebola: You Only Eat Once

Ebola: You Only Eat Once

While we may only live once, virus mutations are not so constrained. And the gentleman above was, appropriately enough, photographed at the home of the diseased Liberian national that we could have in no good conscience prevented from entering the country. Fortunately enough, Western aid organizations are stockpiling enough food for the “Liberian community” in Dallas to subsist for the next century. And to express their gratitude for our oppressive supplies and healthcare, several family members promptly violated the initial quarantine order. Rightfully so, as it was having a racially disparate impact and was not yet vetted for constitutional muster by the full Ninth Circuit. Though as an almost irrelevant aside, the number of physical contacts for the Ebola carrier in America has now risen to 100.

And while it is our solemn responsibility to perish in the most tolerant manner possible, some members of the extremist far-right continue to fight progress.

KKK member in white robe, hood, and mask

KKK member in white robe, hood, and mask

Two days after a man in Texas was diagnosed with Ebola, a Missouri doctor Thursday morning showed up at Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport dressed in protective gear to protest what he called mismanagement of the crisis by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Dr. Gil Mobley checked in and cleared airport security wearing a mask, goggles, gloves, boots and a hooded white jumpsuit emblazoned on the back with the words, “CDC is lying!” “If they’re not lying, they are grossly incompetent,” said Mobley, a microbiologist and emergency trauma physician from Springfield, Mo. Mobley said the CDC is “sugar-coating” the risk of the virus spreading in the United States.

“For them to say last week that the likelihood of importing an Ebola case was extremely small was a real bad call,” he said. “Once this disease consumes every third world country, as surely it will, because they lack the same basic infrastructure as Sierra Leone and Liberia, at that point, we will be importing clusters of Ebola on a daily basis,” Mobley predicted. “That will overwhelm any advanced country’s ability to contain the clusters in isolation and quarantine. That spells bad news.”

Mobley, a Medical College of Georgia graduate who had an overnight layover after flying to Atlanta from Guatemala on Wednesday, said that he feels that the CDC is “asleep at the wheel” when it comes to screening passengers arriving in the United States from other countries.

“Yesterday, I came through international customs at the Atlanta airport,” the doctor told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “The only question they asked arriving passengers is if they had tobacco or alcohol.”

That’s what I can appreciate: focus. They simply need to add a couple of additional questions in customs. Do you have in your possession tobacco, alcohol, exotic fatal pathogens, or subconscious racial bias? Three of which will keep you out of the country. And while the consumption of every third world country sounds a bit unlikely at the moment, the government’s importation of Ebola carriers “on a daily basis” does not. Can anyone actually imagine the USG violating its sacred principles of only discriminating against whites? And only for the mere sake of domestic pandemic prevention? No, I can’t either. So what the hell…YOLO!


9 thoughts on “America Humbled by YOLO

  1. Walker Percy frequently mused that Western Civilization has a death wish: we’ve been sleepwalking since the Battle of Verdun, with no sign of waking up anytime soon.

  2. Good to see you, JB…hope everything’s going well with you

    Percy also pointed out that “blacks don’t know how to govern themselves, and whites don’t know how to live”

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