3) Mohamed is the most popular boys name throughout the Middle East–and Oslo. It is very exciting.
4) People with white skin are being savagely murdered in Africa. Media strangely notices.
7) A group of tequila-Americans finally succeeds in getting themselves arrested….to be promptly released. Illegals openly protesting: chutzpah meets mariachi.
9) California now requiring positive, notarized attestation in triplicate with pink copies filed in the county clerk’s office (a fee applies) before horny frat boys may legally breach the tender crevasse. Colon-Americans remain at liberty to penis-probe adjacent bathroom stalls without prior consent.
10) Finally, all our many readers who have endured the interminable 10-year development period in anticipation of a top-tier African role-playing video game may exhale. Cameroon’s Aurion: Legacy of the Kori Odan is ready. “Estimated gaming time: 20h-30h of epic moment!!”