A Grim Procession

Many of us lead lives trammelled by the burden of an ordered mind. Bounded by responsibility, decorum, or the absence of clinically diagnosed psychoses, we shamble through lives of bleak, monotonous, sanity. Not so, many.

That’s why I lean heavily upon resources such as MPC. Employing what appears to be dozens of displaced Appalachian coal miners, this doughty forum toils in pseudonymity trawling the bowels of the Internet to bring its most bizarre and emotionally misshapen fauna blinking into the sunlight. Whether harrowing tales of fugitive cartoonist Ben Garrison or those fun lovin furries at FCKH8, a day’s worth of amusement is all for the price of a click.

Though for those who can still recall the sometimes awkward advances of youthful courtship…you have never seen anything quite this awkward.

And while still believing in the maxim that there is someone for everyone, I fear this 78th level wizard’s someone is named Oculus Rift.

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Hey, don’t you think it would be great if we had a president who was a former hindu from India? Not particularly, you say? Well, you’re probably not much of a conservative then.

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Foreign cultures are often difficult to understand. That’s why we import tectonic plates full of them–so as to better comprehend their folkways. And one of those differences we have belatedly come to appreciate is that Afghanis (for instance) are prone to expressing gratitude by showering their occupying guests in light machine gun fire.

On this occasion a US general did not survive the expression. Which leaves me with only one question: how many? How many good men are we going to watch The Imperium feed into this soulless foreign moonscape? I suppose we’ll stop wondering when the rifles start cracking in Russia.

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Do you remember hearing about Boko Haram? Apparently they were a civic organization in Nigeria somewhat akin to the Kiwanis. Anyway, the group fell into some ill repute with outside parties after a chapter expressed their unique indigenous culture. This mobilized the local constabulary who apprehended a few stragglers that are now incarcerated in air conditioned cells, consulting legal counsel, while awaiting fair trial by a jury of their peers.

No, that’s actually our unique culture. The fellows in Nigeria had their throats slit before being discarded into a shallow grave. This is exactly the kind of efficiency corporate America is looking for.

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Finally, it appears as though Mr. Ed has inspired others. Good. May a million Snowdens bloom until The State sues for peace. But in that lengthy meantime, take a look at the linked article. Note the enormous surveillance apparatus that has been erected to maintain vigilance over Arabs here (and, of course, us too). And then imagine how tempting to ask: couldn’t we have foregone the omniscient State–and kept our shoes on in the airport–simply by not allowing colonies of ululating muslims to form in our country?

But that, my friends, is a temptation to which one must never succumb.

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