Amore

It’s been said that life is a gift horse. And I suppose that’s largely true for those equines still cantering outside the glue factory. Though it does have its challenges. Some we dutifully submit to history’s consideration within these pages. Others are relinquished to men of keener mind. Yet few are so pleasurably perplexing as the challenge of navigating love’s rapids in the creaking vessel of man’s hopeless heart.

Before continuing, a question: are you like me in keeping attention trained on the tele-vision? If so, then you’re probably not so much like me after all. Though in scanning the news today for tidings of great cheer, I came upon a pap entertainment article describing the latest contrived kerfuffle in “The Bachelor” franchise. I am very familiar with this show having watched a few episodes in season two, I think it was. They must be up to what season four or five now? No matter. The article I came upon included a poignant letter penned by the jilted final suitor upon learning that the woman he loved had chosen marriage to another. Obviously, the contents of this missive were of a painful and profoundly personal nature. Which is why the (ABC) network withheld publication to only that small circle of viewers with Internet access. It can be read here…if for some reason you wanted to.

Therein you’ll find a completely common example of wretched pleading to a heart grown hard. He cajoles, he reasons, he appeals, he analyzes, he graciously accepts an unoffered reconciliation. And he concludes with what must surely be one of heartbreak’s most enduring lies: I hope you find happiness with him (at the bottom of the ocean). In this instance, as with so many others: dignity, thy name is silence.

But this was not to mock an aching young man, but to empathize with the humanity of what will almost certainly be a brief anguish. For hermetic video game maestros and sociopaths are among the few who have never felt the sting of love lost. I once in my youth fell silly, goofy in-love with a girl who subsequently canned me like an old tomato. My God what a heap of clothes I became. A hollow-eyed zombie bereft of soul. This bachelor’s pitiful meanderings were as composed as groundwater reports to the emotional boils I penned–fortunately never sent.

But with the leavening of time comes the realization: those were the feelings of being alive. Of viscerally perceiving the world in high definition. While so much of the drone of our lives, sadly, is not. And while our lonesome bachelor will not realize it now, as he gradually assumes the perspective of a man in his fall, spring’s vivid colors will likely be remembered quite fondly.

18 thoughts on “Amore

  1. Well put. When my first love tossed me aside for another, I chose a path so well trod it has become a cheap cliche: I enlisted.

  2. In other news:

    http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2014/jul/31/the-fear-of-rockets-group-at-miller-plaza-told-of/?breakingnews

    I didn’t realize that Israel bordered on the Tennessee Valley. Well, I was wrong. Even in this small corner of East Tennessee, the happenings of a minor nation on the other side of the world are front page news. Not dumping illegals in the state without consulting the governor, not the 20+ black on black homicides (impressive for a city of only 160k), but Israel.

    Oh, the editor has a Yiddish last name.

    Shear coincidence.

  3. I haven’t seen such self-loathing since The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Elliot

    I’ll bet her new beau’s response to this out-pouring is merely “What a p**sy!” with a tacit agreement from “Andi”.

    “That is one thing that has bothered me the most–when you said you know you could have a good life with me, you just don’t think you could have a great one”
    Nick (p**sy)

    “I should have been a pair of ragged claws
    Scuttling across the floors of silent seas”

    Prufrock (p**sy)

    “Man shall be framed for War, Woman for the entertainment of the Warrior, and all else is folly.”
    Nietzsche (not a p**sy)

  4. I got one ‘wink’ right away from a cute girl on the match dot com last month… I had very recently succumbed to the ‘expensive leads’ sales model of higher response rates (a la Robert Allen ‘multiple streams of income’ theory of always generating), but she was my first big ‘hit’… anyway, I planned logistics poorly so much so that she had to invite me to dinner the following night to fuck me forty-five different ways. Wonderful… cathartic… all the sour tidings of the old what-if girlfriend magically drifted away as i was getting my full fat meathead ass chafed on this new girl’s hardwood tiles and she huffed and pumped.

    Fast-forward a bit and the bottom of my stomach fell when I didn’t get a text reply back within the hour… I’d waited only a few days, but it was a Saturday so big business. I scrambled to rationalize all the happy expectations I’d put on her, never thinking about “blah”. I knew it was done after 12 hours of no reply to my stupid ‘lick your kitty kat’ text message; maybe she got my cat DJ scratch pad or not – who knows😀

    What the OP reminds us of is that we are ALIVE…. this last episode restored some of my latent virility! So even broke and dumb and lonely, stuck on some faggot forum… I am a fucking KING (and I shouldn’t forget it) A Legend of the Mind😀

    I’ve sold this dream to two more sloots already this short month (complete with insertion), and the future is looking bright!!!

  5. I was thinking, when I first read the manosphere part of internet, about how men get their hearts broke by women, and how women are, I understood it. I always known how women are, my mother divorced my father when I was 4 years old and my father is one of the best men ever. He has always been a great father, and my sisters and I chose to stay with him. Then I work at salon, surrounded by women all day. I love women, but I also realized that women can be very cold. Women can be mean. In the salon the glimpse into female psych is fascinating. I think I learned more there than I would ever learn studying in a college.

    But I started to think to myself, is it “women.”? Or is it just people? Women’s hearts get broken too. There are nerdy, socially awkward women, who even if they are pretty, get their hearts broken. I think some people are just like vultures, women and men, and they sense a softness and social awkwardness in somebody, (man or woman) and that person gets hurt. Maybe it is like a two different type of people. The bad people are in charge and have power, and the decent ones not, and get hurt. It reminds me of this verse,

    “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” Matthew 10:16 .

    I hope I am articulating this okay. I just really believe there are good women out there, who are looking for a kindred soul. I think much of the psychology of women is ugly, as is human nature, but also much of men’s too. I am not misanthropic.🙂 . But I think maybe there is a depth to some men, that some women can not handle, because they do not want it, they want just the man that every other women wants. They wants superficiality. And I think like wise some women are the same, they are superficial, and cool, and all the men want them. They walk on those who are not like them.

    For the women, it is not so difficult as it is for men. Women get by a lot on their looks. I am not particulaly beautiful but many times men asked me out, and I will seem very stuck up, but really I understood just by way they talk there is little depth to them. Even wealthy men, of course a woman has temptation to marry, but she intuits that if she marries such shallow man based purely on material attraction, she will feel empty for much of her life.

    There are many women who are shallow, and cold and mean, but I think probably there are many men the same. Men who have never opened a book, men who barely think beyond their base needs.

    I am not say that NAWALT. Because the base instincts in women are the same. The key is being self aware of that and realizing yes it serves purpose, but also that it is not forever. Attraction built on superficial things is not forever. What is forever is building your life with a man, loving him even when you do not feel like it. Working at attraction, working at love. Seeing the man beneath the surface.

    Every day that I looked to my father’s eyes and understood he was heartbroke that his wife left him. Me and my sisters are his life. But it did not take away from the void he felt, I am sure. I could see in his eyes. Until eventually the heart ache he has endured since I was four years become too much. And he got sick. Since I was 12 years old my papa has been sick. And I swear to God, it is because of heart break. But he is still alive thank God, and though he needs help with basic things, his mind is active and pensive as ever, so he makes me a little wiser every day.

    Over all, I do not know if it is women. I think it is a certain type of people that are able to put their own needs above love, and above others. It causes a lot of pain, but I think it also gives wisdom and humility, if we are able to have optimistic perspective. I would think that it is people who not have evolved much from thinking about their own needs and wants and focusing on that. People who do not have love. There is hope for them of course, but until then men and women hearts will be broken. I might be wrong in this, it is just my perspective from observing men and women.

    • Some women want to wear a veil. Some women I meet, I want to put several veils over their heads before I lay with them #alhamdullilah

      • Phalluster. I am sorry, I do not understand? Alhamdullillah? Are you Muslim?

        I think there is nothing wrong with veil, Actually I think a head scarf is beautiful. But not niqaab.

      • I read again your comment. Veils are not intended for wearing when you lay with your wife. They are intended for Church and for modesty. There is no need to veil your woman when you are home together. From Biblical perpesctive, logical perspective, and also Islamic perspective. (As I assume you are Muslim.)🙂 .

  6. Also, I will add something else please.

    The whole “alpha f***s beta bucks” thing which I have read about in manosphere, Some women feel something similar. This may be cultural, I do not know. But some men are bad boys and go around with any woman then they want, then when they are ready to settle down they expect a nice little Church girl house woman to stay home and cook and his food and birth his children. And probably he will only lay with her when he wants her to concieve, the rest time he will get he wants from his whores and completely deprive her.

    He turn 25 and every women around already has had him while she was ignored, and then he offers his used up shallow self to a “nice” woman, offering only roof over head and a couple of babies. It happens all the time. One of my best friend’s husband left her and her sons for another woman. (She was not fat, she was very slim and pretty.) He left for 1 year and then went home, and praise God, she forgive him. But it is still not right.
    It is madonna whore complex. Which a lot of women who waited for they husbands to have fun, have to endure.

    These men know their wives will not divorce them, for shame, and because they are Christians.

    Now maybe my point is more clear, there are mean men, and there are mean women. Each of us has our cross to bere. It is the decent people who suffer in this life, man and woman. Thank God, I know God will reward us.🙂 .

    A man could always learn game to get the woman he wants and keep her. A woman could just be a b*tch and narcissistic and think only of herself. But some people have a soft heart, and really do not want to. Like it is some goldigger women who think just for self and their own wants, and play that game. It might be fun in this life, but in the after life, not so much. And on the conscience, not so easy. It is mean ness and selfnishness that get the power, Whether in love, politics, invadeing other land. etc. Some people are not enough mean and selfish to be cut out for it,

    Does this make sense? Or am I rambling?🙂 .

    • Yes it makes sense. Men need to “man up,” but they will only do it when women “man down.”

      “Shame” is a forgotten concept in our society and it needs to be employed more. Women need to shame sluts who end up putting all women into a sexual race to the bottom. Men need to ostracize cads. You can actually see this in Edgar Lee Masters’ “Spoon River Anthology.” The local card shark/hustler/gigolo was a marginal operator, always at risk of being shot or driven out if he overstepped his bounds.

      • I do not know how effective the shame tactic would be in this generation. We actually have a word ”
        ντροπή.” Pronounced andropi which is commonly said. Actually yesterday my godbrother said it because a man got a woman pregnant and is not marrying her. It means a shame or dishonor.

        When somebody does something that is not correct, like pregnant with out wed lock, one will just say the word in greek, “shame, dishonor.” often in public. And it is shouted. not sayed quiet. I was at a wedding recently and there was a young not married man and woman kissing, and the older men were shouting it. And it is not efective anymore. Many now will just roll their eyes and think the person says it is stuck in last century. It is effective on some, because you do NOT want one of your elders saying ντροπή to you. But if you do not care, as many do not, what is the point?

        I can not shame women, or men. I do not have the heart. I can talk to them and pray for them, and ask God to change them. I can not shame them because I think I do not know what they have been through. They maybe have so much pain in their hearts and I can not deepen this wounds by shaming them, when I do not know their hearts.
        How do we differentiate between those who are victims, those who are hurt, or those who just want to sleep with many men? How effective can shaming be, when deep down, they KNOW it is not ethicaly correct.

        I do not think this is new phenomenon. Through out history there has been “cads” and women pregnant out of wed lock. (Less before because of no contraception.) Human nature is human nature, sexuality is very natural part of it, and when people marry late, have contraception, it is the normal, then they will sow the wild oats. That is life, we can not change the majority, we can only focus on our familes and raising them well to fight the battle that is modernity.

        Shaming would be effective if the majority were of in favor of our ethos, and keeping tradition. But the majority are not, they are progressive. “Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” Matthew 7:14.

        Is Spoon River Anthology a book? I can look to read it.

  7. I’ve never been able to work up to the “manosphere” perspective–though granted effort has been poor. And so I may not even be accurate, and almost certainly not fair, in viewing it as largely a multi-cult brotherhood of man arrayed against ravenous vagina dentata.

    But since we can survive without other men, and can not without our women, the matter seems so perplexingly obvious that I have surely missed some aspect of it.

    Whatever women’s flaws and caprices (and politically those are legion) they are “us.” And frankly I’m inclined to enjoy as many “uses” as one life will accommodate.

    • Indeed, quite. I put up with a veritable cargo-ship load of s*it from my girlfriend but her long term company is still far preferable to listening to the delusional and failed ranting of male virgins running through the enumerations…

      Step 1. Build Rapport
      Step 2. Mirror signals
      Step 3. Create Anchors
      Step 4. Go Home Alone

      When our erstwhile N.L.P. jockey learns to forgive and put his faith in a higher purpose rather than the endless pursuit of a narcissistic supply this artifact of childhood known as “the game” will suddenly disappear and he will be left wondering what all the fuss was about while being given out to by a real life woman for being “an inadequate waste of life who won’t stop typing”… Yes! coming dear! Sorry got to go…

      P.S. Another Manosphere classic

  8. Meanwhile in Norway…

    Where rape by ethnically Norwegian males is a statistically insignificant event.

    We must secure the existence of our people and a future for White Children.

    The beauty of the White Aryan woman must not perish from the earth.

    I have resigned myself to the fact that this will only be resolved by a forceful stance.
    In order to reach this point the Nationalist sentiment must be spoken freely. I do this now. The more I speak about heretofore verboten topics the more reasonable I sound and the less reasonable the left PC crowd sounds. All that we fear is fear itself. So if you need any motivation just click on the first link and understand that we no longer have the time to defer action.

    So well done to the blogosphere for becoming the information and community hub, our yeshivas, and thanks to the Admin here. May your Rabbinical zeal convert the masses🙂

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