The GOP boasts an exquisitely effective sifting operation. Arrivistes with potential are ruthlessly vetted for only the most loyal AIPAC and corporate sycophants. Any others who percolate to the surface even murmuring about serving the interests of their constituents face a fusillade of orchestrated assaults. As a particularly egregious example, Thad Cochran’s behavior in the recent Mississippi election should have banished him forever from the company of honest men. And in observing Mitch McConnell’s warm embrace, we realize it did.
But who among us can truly criticize the senator from our own middle glass house? Thad is only 76 years old. He has children to feed. College educations to fund. A career to consider. If he didn’t humiliatingly prostrate himself before Mississippi’s black democrats, then–according to the actuarial table–he could live a whole 10 more years WITHOUT BEING A SENATOR. So just consider the hopeless depravity of septuagenarian life in-senate-absentia before making any noble pronouncements about virtue or principle. How would you like to not be a senator in your dotage?
Though in contemplating the republicans–this mess of maladroit menschs–it is stupefying to consider that, in comparison to the opposition, they are vaguely the good guys.
For republicans have long deployed the Price is Right political strategy. Get $1 to the right of the democrats, but absolutely never “go over” from liberal dogma. You then coquettishly ask the entire unrepresented right half of the political spectrum: “Where else are you going to go?”
Well that’s all teasingly cute until the democrats began wondering if the FDR court-packing scheme would scale nationally. The answer, we now know, a resounding Si! So the dems replied “You can get one millimeter to our right; we’ll import millions to our left. Say hello to the Whigs.”
And so facing this novelly formidable gambit, how did the five standard deviation republican strategists respond?
We’re not racist!!
If one had no stake in any of this, it would all be to laugh.
But we do, and so it is to not…most of the time.
Yet with vanishing frequency, political anomalies sometimes emerge. None are perfect, though the rarest red diamonds actually side with The Nation in its defense against The State. One I’d like to praise is a certain southern senator. I will not mention him by name nor extend an endorsement for the consternation our association would undoubtedly cause this lonely patriot. Though he has been relentless in defense of the actual American people. A fearless man in a snake pit with nothing but a torch. He speaks passionately on the subject, has a no-need-to-even-ask A+ rating from NumbersUSA, and dispatches every chunk of corporate-left doggerel into the wood chipper. He has been to immigration treason what Phyllis Schlafly was to the equal rights amendment.
And I, for one, would like to offer a remark rarely reserved for politicians: thank you, sir.