Hypocrisy is the Tribute Lice Pays to Screw You



I do not care for Facebook. Almost as it were the jowly halitostic Tim Wise of websites. I have never enjoyed one of the few moments spent there. In fact, it is little more than a destroyer of fond and distant illusions. That lithe, perky teenaged pixie from high school is now a foul-mouthed, chain-smoking thrice married erection drain whose hour glass figure was broken during the Bush administration–the first one.

But those old guy buddies on the other hand–they haven’t changed a bit. Still speaking in a ghetto patois, guzzling fermented petroleum, and fiercely concerned over whether that troop of youths in red silks will outskirmish the ones in blue. Tempting, but I have windows that need staring out of first.

So it is with this unqualified antipathy that I pass along tidings of a champion against the surveillance State: Mark Zuckerburg.

Facebook’s Zuckerberg Complains to Obama Over Government Spying

Mark Zuckerberg, the co-founder and chief executive of Facebook, has complained directly to President Obama about the continuing revelations that the United States government has secretly spied on the activities of some of his company’s 1.2 billion users.

Mr. Zuckerberg spoke with the president on Wednesday following the most recent news report on the National Security Agency’s surveillance tactics. The account, published in The Intercept from documents leaked by the former N.S.A. contractor Edward J. Snowden, described how government computers sometimes masqueraded as Facebook servers in order to send malicious software to infect the machines of Facebook users. The documents say the process was automated so the N.S.A. could target millions of people for the attacks.

In a public post on Thursday to users of the social network, Mr. Zuckerberg said he was “confused and frustrated by the repeated reports of the behavior of the U.S. government.” He continued:

When our engineers work tirelessly to improve security, we imagine we’re protecting you against criminals, not our own government.

The U.S. government should be the champion for the Internet, not a threat. They need to be much more transparent about what they’re doing, or otherwise people will believe the worst.

I’ve called President Obama to express my frustration over the damage the government is creating for all of our future. Unfortunately, it seems like it will take a very long time for true full reform.

I feel sheepish to admit how often the simplest solutions escape my notice. Somewhat like Mr. Zuckerburg, I’m feeling a bit vexed about some trifle or another. The, oh I don’t know…obscene ruin of my civilization perhaps. Hell you could maybe even go so far as to call me frustrated. And now to learn the President is just a phone call away. I’ll brb…

Odd, he didn’t pick up. Maybe later. Though as we were discussing, MZ is “confused and frustrated” by a US government “that honestly doesn’t seem to give the slightest damn about my 974 million vested call options with a $70 strike. Did you think some of that compensation budget was going to salaries? Don’t be stupid. That’s why we deploy battalions of interchangeable H1-B engineers: to work tirelessly to increase the length of my bank statement. And it’s frankly disappointing when the government cares less about our user’s privacy than we do. See exhibits…”

Facebook gets rid of privacy setting for Timeline searches

Facebook: You will shill for us

Facebook’s Privacy Issues Are Even Deeper Than We Knew

Facebook faces another legal attack over privacy concerns

Facebook Removing Option To Be Unsearchable By Name, Highlighting Lack Of Universal Privacy Controls

But most importantly…

Facebook users quitting site over privacy concerns

Valid points, Mark. Though perhaps stated more succinctly: Government surveillance is scaring the sheep away from facebook surveillance. And that costs you even more money than an American engineer.

Another satisfied customer

Another satisfied customer


5 thoughts on “Hypocrisy is the Tribute Lice Pays to Screw You

  1. “That lithe, perky teenaged pixie from high school is now a foul-mouthed, chain-smoking thrice married erection drain whose hour glass figure was broken during the Bush administration–the first one.”

    Truth. Agnostic once posted the same excuse for why he never goes to high school reunions. Heartiste wasn’t lying about that wall.

    As far as I can tell, everyone today knows that the government reads their Facebook data, they just don’t care. It’s not a paranoid 1984 dystopia of Thought Police torturing dissidents, it’s a benumbed Brave New World dystopia where no one cares they’re being shepherded through life by marketers and spin doctors because the distractions and entertainments are so compelling. Besides, Millennials don’t just not care about having their most intimate secrets paraded before the whole world, they’ll do it voluntarily just to whore for attention: “why yes my gay dad raped me and I have Aspergers as self-diagnosed by several online quizzes, what of it? By the way, I’ll have you know that ‘incel’ doesn’t apply in my case, I am a proud volcel!”

    • Yep. Time was Pman would post a single sentence on Facebook and get spluttering indignant responses 3 scrolls deep, but now he gets the same result with his username alone. Epater la bourgeoisie indeed.

  2. I was so fortunate as to have lived abroad in Europe for a year as I approached my teens by the grace of my diligent father’s multinational corporation. Most schoolboy crushes are fleeting as testicles finish their descent and breasts finish blossoming to determine the pecking order of future Mother Hens. Idly, you can grow out of your infatuation and move on, safe in knowing that the grass is indeed greener elsewhere. I was not afforded this comfort, yanked back home to be a yankee.

    Facebook provided me the social lubricant to strike up conversation with my own some decade-and-a-half later, learn of her globe-trotting trajectory, and eventually seize a makeout session in the booth of a raucous dive bar somewhere deep in Manhattan. Time stood still for a few minutes, maybe even an hour, as we held hands and walked to the train station. It was so beautifully impossible, giving a middle finger to fate.

    But her train arrived to scurry her back home, I think toward her boyfriend, who has since been replaced by another who will plunk down salary on a diamond. This is not interesting to me; the mystique of the exotic has worn off completely. Zuckerberg’s great invention was a consumable, not some life fixture. I have no more use for it. If I must strain for one bit of karmic justice as I read journals of praise for his estate’s destructive bent, it is that his own “beloved” is a fat pancake-faced coolie aspirant tiger mom. He will never know Courtly Love as I have, because he is an awkward kike with a small dick and a billion dollars.

  3. Man what I wouldnt do with his immigrant-earned billions, finally I could make people behave the way they should.

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